JABbering Stooge

Not every situation in the Middle East requires your patented approach of “Bomb Muslim countries first, bomb Muslim countries later, bomb Muslim countries some more and then when all the Muslims are dead try to ask a question or two.”

* By “Iran Hawks,” I mean The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible, Senator Eight Houses, Senator Joseph Iscariot Lieberman, and the members of the Meir Kahane Fan Club who gleefully cheered Bush’s smear of Obama.

Naturally, Sen. McBush had to defend his hero:

“Yes, there have been appeasers in the past, and the president is exactly right, and one of them is Neville Chamberlain,” Mr. McCain told reporters on his campaign bus after a speech in Columbus, Ohio. “I believe that it’s not an accident that our hostages came home from Iran when President Reagan was president of the United States. He didn’t sit down in a negotiation with the religious extremists in Iran, he made it very clear that those hostages were coming home.”

Newsflash, Sen. Eight Houses: the only reason the Iranians released the hostages when they did is because Pappy Bush convinced the Iranians to help St. Reagan ratfuck Jimmy Carter. It’s why it’s called the October Surprise. HE NEGOTIATED WITH THE ENEMY! HOW DARE HE?!

Update (May 15, 2008, 5:33 PM): Satyam at ThinkProgress makes another astute point. After getting into office, St. Reagan and George Bush the Smarter secretly negotiated with Iran. The result was the Iran-Contra scandal. Seriously, Sen. McBush, do you REALLY want to go there?

Update II (May 15, 2008, 5:40 PM): Incidentally, Sen. McBush, your “Brokeback Mountain” level of attachment to The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible is NOT an asset.

Update III (May 15, 2008, 6:01 PM): The Egyptian-Israeli Peace Treaty was the result of sworn enemies talking to each other like rational human beings. It’s been beneficial to both parties, and so there’s been no breach of the accord for the 30 years it’s been in effect. So much for the arguments for the “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran” foreign policy.

As if The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible’s hit job weren’t enough, Joe Lieberman took his mouth off of John McCain’s penis long enough to slobber all over Bush’s slander of Obama (via ThinkProgress):

President Bush got it exactly right today when he warned about the threat of Iran and its terrorist proxies like Hamas and Hezbollah. It is imperative that we reject the flawed and naïve thinking that denies or dismisses the words of extremists and terrorists when they shout “Death to America” and “Death to Israel,” and that holds that — if only we were to sit down and negotiate with these killers — they would cease to threaten us. It is critical to our national security that our commander-in-chief is able to distinguish between America’s friends and America’s enemies, and not confuse the two.

Um, Joe? The man you’re so eagerly defending at every single solitary opportunity is the grandson of one of the Nazis’ chief financiers! Seriously.

In order to drive the shiv even deeper into the party that gave you the opportunity to be second-in-command of the most powerful nation on the planet — an opportunity few Jews have had — you would prop up the man whose grandfather’s hands are soaked in the blood of your ancestors?! You have got to be fucking kidding me!

You know, Joe, do you mind if I make one personal observation? STICK IT.

California’s Supreme Court has overturned a ban on gay marriage. About frickin’ time.

Interestingly, the last time a court overturned a state ban on gay marriage, I wound up fisking none other than Eugene Volokh’s reaction to the ruling.

But Barack strikes back:

In a speech to Israel’s Knesset, Bush said: “Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along.

“We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: ‘Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.’ We have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.”

Obama responded with a statement, seizing on Bush’s remarks even as it was unclear to whom the president was referring. [Unclear to whom the president was referring?! Unclear, you dissembling dolt?! How in the world was it not clear to you? Obama is the only one in this campaign who has consistently said that he would directly negotiate with regimes we don’t like. How could it have possibly been any clearer to whom The Most Holy George W. Christ was referring?! THINK, for Zombie Jesus’ sake!! Or are you simply being deliberately dense in order to smear the presumptive Democratic nominee? — Ed.]

“It is sad that President Bush would use a speech to the Knesset on the 60th anniversary of Israel’s independence to launch a false political attack,” Obama said in the statement his aides distributed. “George Bush knows that I have never supported engagement with terrorists, and the president’s extraordinary politicization of foreign policy and the politics of fear do nothing to secure the American people or our stalwart ally Israel.”

I think Keith Olbermann put it best in his special comment last night.

Mr. President, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Edwards endorses Obama. Pat Buchanan declares that This Is Good for Republicans™.

Seriously. When does Michael Medved not say something dumb? (Not to mention nakedly racist.)

This is, after all, a guy who downplayed the horrors of the slave trade in America.

* Via.

The Jewish State at 60

• Unless we nuke Iran post-haste, “we” (and by “we” I mean anyone to the left of Torquemada) will be guilty of causing a Second Holocaust™®©!!!1!!!1!1!eleventy-one!!

Alternate Shorter 1: We must nuke Iran to stop them from fluoridating our water!

Alternate Shorter 2: We have to strike Iran now, sir! Annihilate! Kill! Kill! Kill!

ThinkProgress provided this screen-capture in their post about Holy Joe Lieberman threatening Iran with a nuclear holocaust:

Why won’t you let me exterminate the [insert anti-Arab/anti-Muslim slur]?

This gives me hope for the fall:

Democrats have completed a trifecta of special election victories in GOP-held House seats, narrowly winning a hard-fought contest in Mississippi’s 1st district Tuesday and raising the specter of an expanded playing field in November.

The Associated has called the contest for Democrats, and with 80 percent of the votes recorded, Prentiss County Chancery Clerk Travis Childers (D) was leading Southaven Mayor Greg Davis (R), 51 percent to 49 percent, in the race to replace Roger Wicker (R), who has been appointed to the Senate.

The best part is that this occurred in spite of the “librul” media’s near-total blackout of coverage of all three special elections. My fellow Americans, you have restored my faith that “We The People” can do anything when we set our minds to it.