JABbering Stooge

Little noticed amidst the impending celebration of our nation’s 230th birthday was the ten-year anniversary of the theatrical release of one of the best little B-movies of all time: Independence Day (ID4). In honor of that milestone, I would like to take note of some things I thought of while watching the movie for the n-th time.

1. The little irony noted on Wikipedia - Osama’s Wrecking Krew was able to pull off what the aliens couldn’t. However, it should be noted in the aliens’ defense that they had targeted the Empire State Building. As such, the WTC, while still in the blast radius, was far enough away that it did not receive a fatal blow. Given the ease with which the invaders wiped out the Empire State Building, the White House and other targets in the initial attack, I have no doubt that had the aliens picked their overgrown phallic targets differently, it wouldn’t have taken 102 minutes for the WTC to fall to pieces.

2. Mae Whitman, who played President Whitmore’s daughter, is now fully legal. She was last seen doing voice acting for the anime series Avatar: The Last Airbender and Kingdom Hearts II.

3. President Whitmore is most likely a Democrat. I say this for three reasons: 1) He served in Gulf War I, unlike many of the flag-bukkake fetishists in the GOP 2) The McLaughlin Group, most notably, Morton Kondracke, are seen constantly bad-mouthing him in the early part of the film, and 3) the film was released while Clinton was president, so a reasonable suspension of disbelief would lead one to conclude that the President in any film form the time period, unless otherwise specified, was a Democrat.

4. Assuming they survived the initial attack, the likes of Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Pillz-E, Michael Savage, Neal Boortz, etc., etc., etc. would use every opportunity available to blame the alien attack on Clinton’s Almighty Penis.

5. The above pundits would cheer the likely destruction of the New York Times by the aliens in their initial attack.

6. The above pundits would also blame the Los Angeles city destroyer’s shift in focus to Area 51 on the "treasonous outing of that military installation’s location" by the New York Times. Never mind the fact that the NYT was likely incinerated in the initial attack. Most especially, never mind the fact that it is quite explicitly stated that the aliens are powerful telepaths, and could pluck the relevant information from the mind(s) of the President, SecDef, and/or Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff as easily as you or I would pluck a grape from the vine.