JABbering Stooge

This is just totally disgusting and completely inexcusable: soldiers facing conditions that would get restaurants shut down for 48 hours while “[d]isengaged clerks, unqualified platoon sergeants and overworked case managers fumble with simple needs.” C’mon. We’re Americans - second to none in the quality of health care to those with the monetary resources to avail themselves of it - or so we’re told. There is no reason why our fighting men and women should be treated like this.

Supposedly, this sort of thing has been going on for a long time - all the way back to the Vietnam War, but conditions were never this bad. Just one more example of how Bush and Republicans claim to support the troops while shitting all over them. Worse, Sen. Levin claims that the 109th Congress knew about the horrid conditions at Walter Reed, but did nothing because they “didn’t want to embarrass the President.” Party first, second, third, and fourth, what’s best for the country and our troops a distant, distant fifth - assuming that it even crosses their minds at all.

The good news is that this Congress has pledged a thorough look into the mismanagement at Walter Reed. My suggestion: get Marvin Zindler on the case. This sort of thing is his bag, baby, and he hasn’t had a big story like this since The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

This can’t be good:

SINGAPORE - Vice President Dick Cheney’s plane left Singapore on Sunday after a scheduled refueling stop and repairs to a minor mechanical problem experienced on an earlier flight from Sydney, officials said.

JABbering Stooge Official PolitickBook Line on this story:

• Over-under - Time until conservatives blame “libruls” for Cheney’s plane troubles: 1 day

• Odds that above will single out Clinton’s Almighty Penis for blame: 50:1

• Odds that above will blame BDS-afflicted “librul” saboteurs: 5:1

• Over-under - Time until some liberal gets hurt or sent fake anthrax over this story: 1 week

• Over-under - Time until Michelle Malkin disavows responsiblity for above attack: 10 days

Sidebar: Since the ability to get airborne in a hurry is a necessecity in a national emergency, Air Force 1 & 2 are in all likelihood some of the best-maintained aircraft in existence. Would that the airlines gave that consideration to their customers.

Calling anyone who has the temerity to disagree with you “terrorist-lovers” will no longer work with the American people. That dog just won’t hunt anymore. I would’ve thought that the voters’ rejection of the GOP in the midterms would’ve made that point clearly, but apparently you’re to ideologically blinkered to even care anymore.

I only claim to suffer from Bell’s Palsy to mask my eternal contempt for anyone who dares hold a differing opinion about Iraq.

Sidebar: When has MalKKKin ever NOT “stepped in it?”

I’m going to be doing some damning with faint praise of Our Lady of the Internment Camps today. Last Friday (Feb. 16, 2007), Malkin was filling in for The Lord of the Loofahs, when something most unfortunate happened. The guest was Kate Hanni, a consumer advocate pushing a “Passenger Bill of Rights” in the wake of JetBlue’s weather-related woes.

Quoth the MalKKKin “Nevermore”:

I have to tell you, in general, I’m skeptical of anything that has Bill of Rights tacked on to it.

Say what you will about Malkin, to suggest from this quote that she “hates democracy” or anything like that is truly taking it out of context, as the conversation was strictly limited to the topic of legislative remedies for consumers harmed when a company drops the ball.

Or as the “solitary non-stupid librul” put it, “What does this demonstrate? That couching something as a “Bill of Rights” is a common rhetorical device. And what do we know about rhetorical devices, boys and girls? That’s right! They’re commonly used to short-circuit the process of critical evaluation.”

Sidebar: Oh, Michelle? Way to prove your bosom buddy Ann Coulter’s claim that the sum total of liberal argumentative techique - and totally absent from the conservative repertoire - is to call the other party “stupid.”

Now does the limited scope of Malkin’s conversation with her guest get Malkin off the hook for her apparent Freudian slip? Survey says…*BZZZZZZZZT!*

There are two possible reasons why Malkin said what she said the way that she said it. Option One is that it was a genuine mistake and Malkin intended to state in a less muddled, but still soundbite worthy manner that the honor system is a sufficient and necessary guarantor of good corporate citizenship. Option Two is that she knew that the ambiguity of saying “I’m skeptical of anything that has Bill of Rights tacked onto it” allowed the leap to “Why does Michelle Malkin hate America?” and deliberately said it that way to set up, in the words of the fine folks at Sadly, No!, a BWA HA HA! moment. If Option Two is true, then Michelle is being deliberately manipulative and mendacious, which does not speak highly of her character. Option One suggests that her punditry skills are less than stellar, as any professional pundit worth his/her salt would be well aware that people who disagree with a given pundit are watching and looking for any rhetorical opening to bash him/her over the head with, and thus be very careful about word choice.

And it doesn’t help that Michelle gives her opponents plenty of ammunition. After all, if you’ve written a book that quite literally oozes the Untermensch Syndrome aimed at anyone who “[gives] the wrong answer to the God question,” or if you’ve repeatedly gone on…ahem… jihads against anyone committing the thoughtcrime of expressing an opinion to the left of Torquemada, and then feign surprise when those…ahem… fatwas inevitably have real world repercussions, then it’s kinda hard to avoid coming to the conclusion that you have no use for democracy or any fundamental human rights when it comes to those who disagree with you. Even if it’s out of context.

Sincerity test for Michelle: Are you equally as skeptical of David Horowitz’s “gimmicky legislation with the words ‘Bill of Rights’ tacked onto the end of it” that would make it a crime for professors to teach anything other than pro-conservative “goodfacts?”

But then what do I know? I’m just a “stupid” untermenschen “librul” who needs to be shot on sight.

Sidebar: There is an element of hypocrisy to Malkin’s bitching and moaning about being taken out of context, as Malkin herself is not above taking people out of context when it suits the agenda that she is pushing.

My mother is a church administrator (probably a bad job choice, if Tim LaHaye’s End Times Wankery series is to be believed), and as such, occasionally receives magazines aimed at church administrators. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t mention this, but there was an article in a recent issue of one such magazine, Church Business, that bears mentioning, particularly in light of the recent Bill Dono-spew nastiness. The article in question, entitled “It’s Not Supposed to Make You Sick,” is actually an excerpt from the book Soul Cravings by Erwin Raphael McManus. If you ask me, it is a ringing condemnation of the tactics espoused by the Religious Right (a.k.a., the “Theocracy NOW!” crowd). In fact, I would even argue that it is required reading for those wishing to argue in favor of a liberal Christian ethos. The comparison between “Syrian Diet Coke” (read the article for the context) and Western Christianity - particularly in light of the Religious Right’s efforts to declare themselves the sole representatives of Western Christianity - is incredibly apt. The opening sentence in the excerpt is especially salient in regards to the recent Edwards blogger kerfuffle.

So many things that have the name of Jesus on the label have really nothing to do with Jesus in the end.

Indeed.

I’m sure you may have received the following e-mail in some form or another. But the version my mother sent me a while ago amused me to no end, mainly because people like Professional Outrage Maven Bill Dono-spew hate the grain of truth in it:

The Preacher’s Son

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.

He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table three objects: - a Bible, - a silver dollar, and - a bottle of whisky.

“I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself, “and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up.

If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be.”

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

He tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.

He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink.

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher whispered, “he’s gonna be a Republican Congressman!”

Your Mileage May Vary

It has come to my attention that yesterday marked the end of the second year of my adventures in blogging. Last year at about this time, I made an extraordinarily long, rambling post highlighting just about every single post that I had made in my first year of blogging. Obviously, this was a BAD IDEA™. I’d like to avoid that this year, so I will just post the my top ten favorite posts from the last year.

Top Ten JABbering Stooge Posts For 2006-2007

1. Israel GOOD! Muslims BAD!

2. I must be desperate for attention (my first and, thus far, only catblogging post)

3. Neal Boortz is an idiot

4. Something to think about…

5. Playing Catchup: The “Librul” Media strikes again!

6. NBC on Benedict Arnold I: “No really! He’s a moderate! Honest!”

7. They have not lead [sic]. We will.

8. This day in history…

9. Oscar…Mike…Golf…What an embarrassment!

10. ID4 turns 10

And the beat goes on and on…

I honestly don’t know what annoys me more about Professional Outrage Maven Bill Dono-spew - the fact that he regularly says hateful, bigoted things, or the fact that the “librul media” constantly gives him a forum to say hateful, bigoted things.

Case in point, his latest incident of manufactured outrage - directed at two bloggers hired by presidential hopeful John Edwards.

Sidebar:It’s interesting to note in this whole kerfluffle that the focus was almost exclusively on Marcotte and McEwan, falsely suggesting that only liberal bloggers tend to be “unhinged” in their commentary, sparing a bare minimum on the McCain blogger who has ruffled many a feather with his “Murka is a Christian Nation™®©” tirades and confict-of-interest-prone blogging. In fact, I would be pleasantly surprised if the revelation that Duncan Hunter’s S.C. campaign chair had some “intemperate” things to say about Buddhism and Islam (His exact words were “Screw the Buddhists and kill the Muslims” - he was so proud of his bigotry that he wanted it put on the record) gets more than one nanosecond of airtime on “librul” MSRNC or CNN (hat tip: Roger Ailes via Duncan “Atrios” Black).

But back to the Modern-Day Pharisee. What really got my goat about the whole situation was his appearance Tucker Carlson’s show (without any liberal opposition, natch) during which Carlson did nothing but verbally fellate this gasbag:

Mind you, this is the guy who famously said (among other things) “Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular,” “People don’t trust the Muslims when it comes to liberty,” (as if “Theocracy NOW!” proponents such as yourself are better?) and, of course, that homosexuals “need to apologize to straight people” for the crime of just existing, apparently.

Sadly, the blanket media campaign of manufactured outrage seems to have worked, as first Marcotte and now McEwan have both resigned from Edwards’ campaign. Score one for Dono-spew’s “Victory Through Intimidation” tactics. You know, Bill, there was another group that made the newsreels for their “Victory Through Intimidation” campaign. But those newsreels are kinda hard to understand because the narration is in German!!!

Governor Goodhair, like his predecessor before him, seems to enjoy issuing executive orders lately. First there was the executive order fast-tracking approval for the construction of 11 coal-fired power plants from TXU Corp. - one of the country’s biggest polluters, and one of Perry’s biggest contributors (cha-ching!) - along with a half-dozen other similar plants from other eco-unfriendly energy companies - all of which, BTW, would be exempt from Clean Air standards by Bush’s Clear(ly Smoggy) Skies initiative, which “grandfathers in” power plants with older, dirtier designs.

Now there’s the executive order mandating that all girls ages 11-12 receive the vaccine for the four strains of Human Papillomavirus (HPV) responsible for the vast majority of cervical cancer cases (with an opt-out clause for the crazies who think that educating your kids about all aspects of sex only encourages them to run off and join harems and have orgies out the wazoo).

Although this is a good move in theory, the way he went about it raises several red flags:

• The most glaring red flag raised is Perry’s conflict-of-interest with the provider of the vaccine, Merck. Perry’s former chief-of-staff, Mike Toomey, is one of the drug company’s three lobbyists in Texas, and Merck donated $6,000 to Perry’s re-election campaign. All of this smacks suspiciously of the K-Street Project, and we all know how beautifully that worked.

• Secondly, Merck was pursuing an aggressive lobbying campaign, up to and including the potential influence peddling noted in the previous point. This is the same company, mind you, that played a costly PR game with its now-recalled painkiller Vioxx. That Vioxx, and now Gardisil, were waved through the FDA so quickly without so much as a cursory probe of their effectiveness and safety are the result of a Bush administration that believes in the honor system in ensuring good corporate citizenship. So why was Merck pursuing mandatory vaccinations so aggressively, especially given their past indiscretions with the safety of one of their products, and with new questions about the efficacy and safety of their latest product? Turns out that GlaxoSmithKline, one of Merck’s major competitors, is planning on introducing their own HPV vaccine sometime later this year. Wouldn’t do to let a rival get the upper hand on you, doncha know? (Similar tactics, such as ever so slightly changing the chemical makeup of a drug and patenting the change, have been used to keep generic versions of brand-name drugs off the market for decades at a time.)

• Lastly, Perry’s move, even with the opt-out clause, has caused so much uproar with his theofascist base that it’s not funny. Republicans learned in 1992 that it’s not a good idea to piss off your base, no matter how irrational their objections may be. Perry either never learned that lesson, or believes in profit über alles, and doesn’t care who he pisses off in order to enrich himself and his crony capitalist buddies. I’d guess the latter. After all, it was Perry who said of his lackluster 39% of the vote re-election, “When I take my hand off the Bible, I’ll be 100 percent governor. I won’t be 39 percent governor. I’ll have 100 percent of the authority.”

Read it and weep, Texas. This is what you’ve got for at least the next two years.

Here’s another post that was too long in coming: my pics from The Most Holy George W. Christ’s Most Glorious 2007 State of the Union.

First, we have a picture surveying the general scene of the Drinking Liberally crowd:

Here’s my reaction to the speech, complete with the use of my incredibly crappy photoshopping skills to brighten the image (even with the camera flash, the photo was too dark):

Sidebar: In all honesty, these days I use GIMP for my photoshopping efforts, so if someone out there actually knows how to use GIMP competently, I’d like some assistance, please!

And finally, there’s the version of the above picture that I sent to Bartcop:

Enjoy - or not…