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Monday, April 30th, 2007
Barfbag special

Posted at 12:55
by J. A. Baker
in Local Wingnuttery; The WTF?! Files; GOP Bizarro World

Oh dear god. Say this isn’t so.

According to the Killeen Daily Herald, as the bloodbath at Virginia Tech was unfolding two weeks ago, a local man - Bill Thomas - was preparing to present The Most Holy George W. Christ with one of his Purple Heart awards that he (Thomas) had received during his service in Vietnam.

And wait until you hear his justification for this atrocity:

We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds.

Yeah. Try telling the wounded vets at that rat-infested hellhole formerly known as Walter Reed that their very real injuries aren’t as bad as those the Pretzeldunce endures every time he is subjected to the slightest bit of dissent with his disastrous policies. You’ll get a well-deserved ass-whooping, you self-important, solopsistic butt-nugget.

If you thought that wingnuts couldn’t stoop any lower when they pulled this stunt at the 2004 Rethuglican Convention, you’ve got another thing coming:

As Megatokyo co-creator Rodney Caston’s digital alter ego once put it (albeit, under very different circumstances):

Must find bathroom. Need to hurl.

Friday, April 27th, 2007
Unhinged, indeed.

The Eric Rudolph wing of the anti-abortion movement has struck again, this time waaaaaaaay too close to home for comfort. The local fishwrap reports on a “device” found at a South Austin women’s clinic that performs abortions. Said device was a bomb that contained a bunch of nails, very similar to the one Rudolph used on a Birmingham, AL abortion clinic.

Wait, I thought that these improvised anti-personnel explosives were the sole purview of Hamas and Hezbollah. At least, that’s what the wingnuts would have us believe (at gunpoint).

Incidentally:

Officials have not commented on possible suspects or motives or why the clinic was targeted.

I’d look for someone wearing a shirt like this, like this or like this, or this, or even like this, but that’s just me.

Note to Michelle MalKKKin: You can screech your unhinged conspiracy theories about how only “libruls” commit acts of violence against their ideological adversaries until you’re blue in the face (okay, until you’re red in the face, if you want to be patriotically correct about it), but this isn’t the Ender Wiggin universe, where “wishing makes it so.”


Rudy, Rudy, Go Away Fearmonger Some Other Day

Keith Olbermann is once again, dare I say, en fuego:



DJIA hits 13K

Posted at 10:33
by J. A. Baker
in Uncategorized

Watch for the wingnuts to credit Bush’s “Tax Cuts for the Upper 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000001%” pyramid scheme for Wednesday’s record Dow Jones high.


Definately NOT in my Bottom 10

Posted at 10:24
by J. A. Baker
in The WTF?! Files

Stephanie Miller is going to get to do her show on MSNBC for a few days next week?

Excuse me while I do a butt-dance. *singing* Butt-dance again! Like the rhythm’s down your pants now!

Sidebar: I can’t believe that that is my first Homestar Runner reference…


The storm before the calm

Okay, I’m way behind the times on this one. I may as well go ahead and get it out of the way.

Click here to see the rest of the story…

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
The calm before the storm

Posted at 17:08
by J. A. Baker
in Uncategorized; The WTF?! Files

I’ll comment on the Virginia Tech massacre a bit later, after I get my thoughts together. For now, I present a little levity to brace for the upcoming storm, via Robert Farley at Lawyers, Guns and Money:

I shall henceforth be known only by my Mafia Nickname, “Knuckles”. Via Slate.

For those who are interested, my Mafia Nickname:

No, seriously.

Friday, April 13th, 2007
Hating Muslims: the new American sport

And what better example of this to start off with than some good-old-fashioned denial from the racist thugs at Little Green Footballs Late German Fascists?

What do you get when you put a Koran together with a couple of slices of crisp, juicy bacon? Bacon: The New Hate Crime.

Uhm, hum…So, Chazmo, if someone were to smear the Torah in bacon (also forbidden by some branches of Judaism) and leave it at the front steps of the Knesset, is that also not a hate crime, or would that change in the target merit special attention by you and your bloodthirsty goons?

Cousin It then quotes Dymphna of Gates of Vienna (gee, not very subtle, are we?):

Where was the underlying crime that must exist for this to be a “hate” crime, under U.S. or Tennessee laws? Or was the underlying crime one that exists only under sharia law, followed with meticulous political correctness by the Clarksville police in reporting it as a hate crime? Will leaving a book on the steps of a mosque become criminal trespass, in order to find some underlying crime to make it “hateful” under the National Incident Based Reporting System (pdf format) of the Department of Justice? The methodology for gathering hate crime statistics uses 3 categories of crimes: against people, against property and against society. Since this was not a crime against property or people, under U.S. and state laws, should we assume that the Clarksville police department has found it to be a crime against society under sharia law?

Or are we in the never-never land of searching for or inventing underlying crimes, to criminalize hostile and critical speech, so that it can be prosecuted as a hate crime?

I’m no lawyer, but I believe trespassing with intent to incite violence is a crime. And I’m pretty certain that this can be considered harassment and maybe stalking, if not out-and-out making terroristic threats. At the absolute minimum, it’s criminal mischief.

But then again, I suppose that in the minds of Cousin It and his bigoted cohort, this is just harmless Saturday night drunken fun, as is this:

this:


or this.


And now for a local angle on anti-Muslim bigotry. This particular gem involves State Sen. Dan Patrick, who prior to his insertion into the Lege was a Reich-wing hate radio host. Last week, Patrick proved his predecessor prescient when he remarked: “I think he would be terrible in the Senate…He’d be a difficult person for the lieutenant governor and the leadership to work with.” What exactly did Patrick do, you ask? I’ll let The Flying Fascist spell it out:

It was Texas state senator Dan Patrick (R) who suggested to begin each legislative session with a Christian prayer led by a clergyman. Some people complained, but Patrick had none of it. But what happened when the prayer is led by an Imam? Patrick decided to cut and run.

And how did Patrick justify his bigoted temper tantrum?

I didn’t want my attendance on the floor to appear to be an endorsement.

An endorsement of what, pray tell? The fact that America, for all your bitching and moaning, is still the land of the free, open to people of ALL religious traditions, not just your hateful perversion of Christianity?

But wait, there’s more! At the end of that day’s session, he requested, and was granted special permission to explain himself. Here’s what he had to say then.

We witnessed something this morning that was extraordinary. The imam is fortunate to be in this great country, a nation that is so tolerant of others’ dream and faiths.

Yeah, so tolerant that you believe Muslims should count their blessings that they aren’t herded en masse to Adam Yoshida’s human-sized microwaves for the crime of not being a member of Patrick’s cult twisted version of Christianity. And then Patrick played the Martyr Card:

The senator told the assembly that the world must be puzzled by a country that would allow someone to bring a Quran into the Senate while it prohibits a child from carrying a Bible into a public school.

In the words of your bosom buddy Michelle MalKKKin: Boo-freakin’-hoo. For the 6.02x1023rd time, Christians have all the priviledges they could possibly want in this country. The only “rights” they’re being denied are the right to use the legislature as a club against anyone not in their special clique and the right to engage in what Roger Ebert rightly called “horizontal prayer.” Or are you using the Neocon Revised Standard Version Bible, which just happens to be missing Matthew 6:5, among others?

Thursday, April 12th, 2007
This day in aerospace history…

Posted at 15:25
by J. A. Baker
in Uncategorized; My Inner Nerd

Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first human to orbit Earth.


Insert fart joke here…

Posted at 03:00
by J. A. Baker
in The WTF?! Files; My Inner Nerd

This wins the prize for most unusual patent ever: Underwear specially designed to take the stink out of farts.

Stephanie Miller, eat your heart out!

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