JABbering Stooge

I couldn’t hear you over that major bridge collapsing due to insurgent bombs in Baghdad.

Damn, that sucks. Sadly, I’ve never read the man’s works, but I’m given to understand that he was a giant in sci-fi literature, and as much a hero to liberal sci-fi geeks as Heinlein was to libertarian/wingnut sci-fi nerds. The world will be a lesser place for his loss. I wish we had more like him in the sci-fi world, but sadly, that genre is filled with Orson Scott Cards…

You might want to sit down before reading what I’m about to tell you. According to the Washington Post, President Bush wants to appoint a “war czar” to run the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. At the moment, at least three generals approached by the Bushies to take the position have demurred, some not so politely:

“The very fundamental issue is, they don’t know where the hell they’re going,” said retired Marine Gen. John J. “Jack” Sheehan, a former top NATO commander who was among those rejecting the job.

Indeed, General Sheehan. That much has been evident from day one of this botched crusade for Daddy’s honor. But it seems that there is more to it than that. I can think of three somewhat convergent reasons for this clusterf-ck of a decision by the Decider-in-Chief. All of these observations, sadly, have been borne out by the president’s prior behavior.

Remember last year how the wingnuts posted this picture in their constant circle-jerking wargasms over the Israel-Lebanon conflict?

Well, in light of recent events, maybe it needs some updating:

Our Lady of the Internment Camps asks “What’s in a name?” Of the Swedish couple fighting the government for the right to name their baby girl “Metallica” and the German family’s quest to name their child “Jihad,” Malkin says:

Ok, while I’m not a fan of either of those names, I am even more creeped out by these European laws regulating what parents name their babies.

Ummm…Michelle? Laws regulating people’s names aren’t unique to Europe, you know.

You got any more inanities for us, Michelle? What’s that, you say? You do?

“Danny belongs to the nation”

Then why are you Reich-wing nutters trying to claim sole custody of him?

MSRNC: Idaho gun enthusiasts target Guard tanks.

Oh, dear God. What the hell is this? Is this what the NRA considers “responsible gun ownership?!”

BOISE, Idaho - For years, ATV-riding, gun-toting sport shooters have flouted gun laws in part of Idaho’s high desert by taking pot shots at ground squirrels and other animals.

Now, officials say, they’re also setting their sights on National Guard tanks that train in the area.

But wait! It gets worse!

“There’s a segment of the shooting community that will shoot at anything that moves,” said John Sullivan, the area’s manager.

That would be most NRA members and the entirety of the NRA leadership, Mr. Sullivan. This is the same mentality that brought about the end of Jim Zumbo’s career for saying Things Not Approved By The NRA.

Lord, save me from your followers!

Bill-O’s man-fight with Geraldo at 99 RPMs:

Meanwhile, a Republican congressman says what everyone knows and the “librul media” refuses to acknowledge: The Most Holy George W. Christ is as popular as The Clap - and quickly losing ground.

Starring Bill O’Reilly and Geraldo Rivera:

I don’t know what’s worse, Bill-O simlutaneously claiming that the mayor of Virginia Beach is in cahoots with “T3h 0p3n B0rd3rs L0bby™” and that she was unconscionably ignorant of Virginia Beach’s status as a “sanctuary city” or the comments of the wingnuts on YouTube such as “Geraldo shows his TRUE “LA RAZA” Pro Illegal Alien Amnesty Colores as Bill O’Reilly - American Patriotic Hero - Intellectually and Verbally Destroys and Deconstructs Geraldo!” and “Bill O’Reilly (At His Best) Blasts Illegals, Open Borders Supporter Geraldo Rivera.” Honestly. “Intellectually and verbally destroys?” The nutbag was channeling Nikita Krushchev at the U.N., ferchrissakes!

What I found most interesting about the whole exchange, however, was that in spite of The Falafel King’s insistence that Virginia Beach is a “sanctuary city,” it’s not on his list of sanctuary cities approved Al Qaeda targets.

UPDATE: It took a while, but Bill O’Reilly FINALLY added Virginia Beach to The List™.

This is interesting. When The Most Holy George W. Christ was throwing his petulant temper tantum in the Rose Garden the other day, CSPAN caught Vice President Perma-Sneer lurking in the background. Here’s the clip from YouTube:

ROTFLMAO