JABbering Stooge

From The Progressive by way of The News Blog:

Bush Anoints Himself as the Insurer of Constitutional Government in Emergency
By Matthew Rothschild

May 18, 2007

With scarcely a mention in the mainstream media, President Bush has ordered up a plan for responding to a catastrophic attack.

Under that plan, he entrusts himself with leading the entire federal government, not just the Executive Branch. And he gives himself the responsibility “for ensuring constitutional government.”

That’s right. He’s laying the groundwork for claiming dictatorial power in the event of another 9/11. And if you conservatives out there think I’m being paranoid, imagine that power in the hands of Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. This “contingency plan” flat out shits on what little bit of the Constitution remains unshredded after six straight years of a GOP monopoly on the reins of power.

So just how does the maladministration define a catastrophic event that necessitates authoritarian rule?

It defines a “catastrophic emergency” as “any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government function.”

This could mean another 9/11, or another Katrina, or a major earthquake in California, I imagine, since it says it would include “localized acts of nature, accidents, and technological or attack-related emergencies.”

In other words, the incident in question doesn’t even have to wipe out Congress and the Judiciary for The Most Holy George W. Christ to up and declare the Constitution null and void. Tell me, would you want that kind of power in ANYONE’S hands, much less President Johnny Bravo?

But the real bitch of it all is that he doesn’t even need to seize power in this fashion - the co-dependent Dems in Congress just ceded it all to him in the last 24 hours.

In the category of “Liberty University Nut Arrested After Attempting to Burninate Phelps Wackeroons,” the award goes to Sadly, No! commenter Matt T.

Man. I just spent a very pleasent weekend in Alabama, of all places, eating crawdads and smoking weed with displaced Cajuns and regular South Alabama good ol’ boys. And I come back to hear some yay-hoos got snatched for making bombs to blow up Fred Phelps and his bunch protesting Jerry Falwell’s funeral because the old fat bastard was “too soft on gays”.

Son of a bitch. That was some good smoke. I’m still sane, but apparently the rest of reality has decided to go for a walk down to the creek, perhaps to steal some underwear.

(Italics in original, bolding mine)

Runner up in this category goes to Sadly, No! commenter Some Guy who wrote:

Things are obviously getting confusing, so I’m going to clear up exactly what happened.

This Christian guy died, and a whole bunch of other Christians were going to mourn him, but these other Christians didn’t like that Christian guy, because he wasn’t Christian enough for their Christian beliefs, and he didn’t hate the Christian enemy, the fags, enough. So in order to stop those Christians from being an annoyance at the funeral for this Christian, this other Christian decided he was going to make some bombs and blow up the Christians. In the name of Christ.

In other news, Islam is SO not the religion of peace. That title is reserved for the Amish. And they will fuck up ANYONE who tries to take it away from them, bitches…

Additional snark is always welcome when it comes to flaming rat bastards like Falwell and Phelps.

First Jimmy Carter backs down from his exquisitely astute criticism of The Most Holy George W. Christ, and then the co-dependent Dems in Congress capitulate on the Iraq Forever War funding supplemental bill.

I think Bartcop put it best when he said “How did I get in a party of gutless wankers?”

I graduated high school in 1998 (heh - that dates me) - a product of Westwood High School. A school that was named a Blue Ribbon school during my sophomore year there. A school where the tune for the alma mater is based on a section in the middle of “Jupiter: The Bringer of Jollity” from Gustav Holst’s Planets Suite. (How cool is that?)

It is also a school that is no stranger to controversy. The last time that Westwood was in the news in for something other than its many, many accomplishments (which sadly, does not include a state football title) was back in 1994, when a bunch of Christian Coalition-backed candidates, having been elected to the RRISD school board, decided to engage in their favorite pasttime: book burning banning. That incident in and of itself is worthy of its own blog post at some time in the immediate future.

But the incident that I want to write about was reported on the local NBC affiliate last night. Here’s how KXAN tells the tale:

Seniors at three Round Rock Independent School District high schools voted to have an invocation at graduation ceremonies, but at a meeting attended by 60 of Westwood High School’s 558 seniors, prayer got a thumbs-down.

Forty students voted against prayer, 15 voted for it, and five voted neutral.

The meeting was open to seniors but not required.

Okay, so it doesn’t bode well for my alma mater that the vast majority of its seniors couldn’t be bothered to vote on an issue that affects their graduation ceremony. But nevertheless, those who were there overwhelmingly voted down an invocation at graduation. As we’ve often seen in local elections, turnout is utterly pathetic. But that doesn’t make the elections any less valid. And besides, as current Westwood Principal Rebecca Donald said (at the risk of an Appeal to Tradition):

Traditionally, Westwood has never had the invocation [mandated by the school], just because the community is so diverse in the religions that are represented in our community…An invocation needs to come from students…

This wouldn’t have been a story, except for this little tidbit:

“I’ve had a number of parents e-mail. I know that there was some discussion on talk radio this morning, and I know a number of our parents called in, wanting us to readdress this issue.” [Principal Donald said.]

Talk radio? That wouldn’t be the morning show on KLBJ, would it? THAT’s certainly going to get the local “Theocracy NOW!” crowd riled up. This is a classic right-wing tactic: freeping feedback mechanisms and public opinion polls.

Oy, vey!

WingNutDaily (via Pam Spaulding at Pandagon) reminds us of why the fundies keep running into things - they’re eternally incapable of removing the Redwood log from their eyes.

Check it out:

An online company providing books to hundreds of Christian bookstores throughout Canada and the United States promotes XXX-rated materials, occult titles, manuals on homosexuality and lesbianism and satanism, according to a center that monitors the industry.

As WND has reported, a company called BookManager serves a St. Catharines, Ont., Christian bookstore whose owner recently discovered books on occultism, pornography and the like could be located through its website.

But wait, there’s more!

He [”Christian” Research Service head BPud Press] said there are Christians who have had their faith “shipwrecked” because of exposure the heretical books and New Age concepts they were able to order through Christian bookstores.

Press said the company, headquarted in Kelowna, British Columbia, besides Canada and the United States, serves bookstores in England, Ireland and the Bahamas.

“This is a significant problem for Canadian Christian bookstores and any Christian bookstore that is powered by BookManager,” Press said. “Indeed, the mere presence of non-Christian authors and books within Christian bookstores – whether in Canada, the U.S., or worldwide – is a sobering reminder that Christians have let their guard down and failed to apply the Biblical tests to authors, books, and materials within their online and walk-in Christian bookstores.”

Perhaps they ought to be policing their own, the way the Chinese are doing:

HONG KONG (Reuters) - More than 800 Hong Kong residents have called on authorities to reclassify the Bible as “indecent” due to its sexual and violent content, following an uproar over a sex column in a university student journal.

*Sigh* Just another day in Bushworld.

If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate!

In other words, What Amanda Marcotte Said.

This has been “What Amanda Marcotte Said - Monty Python Edition.”

It is often said among lefty pundits and bloggers that President Bush’s seeming utter incompetence vis a vis the war in Iraq is as much artifice as fact - in effect, planned chaos. And indeed, the evidence would back up that claim - from the decision to secure the oil ministry, but not the nuclear research facility at Al-Tuwaitha nor the munitions storage facility at Al-Qa’Qaa to Abu Ghraib to Halliburton’s no-bid contracts to deliberately give our troops Marvin Zindler Restaurant Report-quality service and a whole host of other stupendously fscked-up decisions regarding the post-Saddam security situation.

I’m sure Mr. Morden and his associates would be proud. Too bad the only Vorlons we seem to have around here are Reps. Henry Waxman and John Conyers. We sure as hell can’t count on Sen. Joementum (I, Bushbot).

According to former Deputy AG James Comey, the Bushies were so desperate to have their illegal warrantless wiretapping program declared legal by the Justice Just Us Department that Gonzo personally went to Johnny “The Hawk” Ashcroft to “make him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

Oh. My. God(dess). As Bartcop would say, Koresh help us all.

Oh, this is just rich. Falwell’s funeral is going to protested by Fred Phelps’ gang of wackeroons. For the crime of not being Nazi enough vis a vis t3h homosexuals, no less.

Meanwhile, we get this bit of “I’m rubber, you’re glue” childishness from something called “Christian Newswire,” apparently accusing liberals of being Christ-haters. Standard issue conservative rot, that. (Hat tip, the fine folks at Sadly, No!)

So…I guess these are Christ-hating “libruls?”

But don’t listen to me. I’m just a Christ-hating, stupid “librul” who is addicted to hate (hat tip, Farker “carmody”).

Sidebar: In related news, I thought another Farker operating under the handle “Torc” had the best quote on the subject:

Oh joy, sectarian hatred in the US. It’s the Shiitts vs. the Sue-ees.

Looking like you’re stoned off your @$$ makes your arguments sooooo much more cogent.

LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU AMERICA-HATING TERR’IST-LOVERS WHO NEED TO BE SHOT ON SIGHT FOR DARING TO CRITICIZE THE HOLIEST MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!

Oh, Melanie? Here’s a helpful tip. Define what you mean by “victory.” Going Lois Griffin on Adam West’s ass has worn out its viability with the American people. At least, that’s what you should’ve figured out from the spanking your party took in the ‘06 election. Quite frankly, anytime a Melanie Morgan, Ann Coulter, Michelle MalKKKin and their ilk are on t3h teevee, I wanna do this:

Hat tip, Maha.