JABbering Stooge

From The Progressive by way of The News Blog:

Bush Anoints Himself as the Insurer of Constitutional Government in Emergency
By Matthew Rothschild

May 18, 2007

With scarcely a mention in the mainstream media, President Bush has ordered up a plan for responding to a catastrophic attack.

Under that plan, he entrusts himself with leading the entire federal government, not just the Executive Branch. And he gives himself the responsibility “for ensuring constitutional government.”

That’s right. He’s laying the groundwork for claiming dictatorial power in the event of another 9/11. And if you conservatives out there think I’m being paranoid, imagine that power in the hands of Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. This “contingency plan” flat out shits on what little bit of the Constitution remains unshredded after six straight years of a GOP monopoly on the reins of power.

So just how does the maladministration define a catastrophic event that necessitates authoritarian rule?

It defines a “catastrophic emergency” as “any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government function.”

This could mean another 9/11, or another Katrina, or a major earthquake in California, I imagine, since it says it would include “localized acts of nature, accidents, and technological or attack-related emergencies.”

In other words, the incident in question doesn’t even have to wipe out Congress and the Judiciary for The Most Holy George W. Christ to up and declare the Constitution null and void. Tell me, would you want that kind of power in ANYONE’S hands, much less President Johnny Bravo?

But the real bitch of it all is that he doesn’t even need to seize power in this fashion - the co-dependent Dems in Congress just ceded it all to him in the last 24 hours.

In the category of “Liberty University Nut Arrested After Attempting to Burninate Phelps Wackeroons,” the award goes to Sadly, No! commenter Matt T.

Man. I just spent a very pleasent weekend in Alabama, of all places, eating crawdads and smoking weed with displaced Cajuns and regular South Alabama good ol’ boys. And I come back to hear some yay-hoos got snatched for making bombs to blow up Fred Phelps and his bunch protesting Jerry Falwell’s funeral because the old fat bastard was “too soft on gays”.

Son of a bitch. That was some good smoke. I’m still sane, but apparently the rest of reality has decided to go for a walk down to the creek, perhaps to steal some underwear.

(Italics in original, bolding mine)

Runner up in this category goes to Sadly, No! commenter Some Guy who wrote:

Things are obviously getting confusing, so I’m going to clear up exactly what happened.

This Christian guy died, and a whole bunch of other Christians were going to mourn him, but these other Christians didn’t like that Christian guy, because he wasn’t Christian enough for their Christian beliefs, and he didn’t hate the Christian enemy, the fags, enough. So in order to stop those Christians from being an annoyance at the funeral for this Christian, this other Christian decided he was going to make some bombs and blow up the Christians. In the name of Christ.

In other news, Islam is SO not the religion of peace. That title is reserved for the Amish. And they will fuck up ANYONE who tries to take it away from them, bitches…

Additional snark is always welcome when it comes to flaming rat bastards like Falwell and Phelps.

First Jimmy Carter backs down from his exquisitely astute criticism of The Most Holy George W. Christ, and then the co-dependent Dems in Congress capitulate on the Iraq Forever War funding supplemental bill.

I think Bartcop put it best when he said “How did I get in a party of gutless wankers?”