JABbering Stooge

In “honor” of Cheney’s invention of the Fourthbranch:

Incidentally, you should check out The Washington Post’s four-part series on Cheney’s tenure as Veep. Very eye-opening (and chilling).

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Yep, the conservative perversion of Christianity is sooooooooo much better than Islam. Here’s how (I know how! N’yuck! N’yuck! N’yuck! N’yuck!):

• A Lancaster County, Nebraska rape victim is not allowed to use terms like “rape,” “sexual assault,” etc. because the judge said those words are “too emotionally loaded” and would “prejudice a jury.” And for his next trick, the judge is going to a) unilaterally declare the victim guilty of “moral terpritude,” and b) demand that she produce 20 male relatives who were witness to the rape.

• Another woman is gang-raped in San Jose, yet the DA flatly refuses to file charges, apparently taking at face value one of the alleged assailants’ claims that “she did this to herself.” Yeah, and Clinton’s penis made you rape her. Sure.

• A 14-year-old rape victim was refused emergency contraception at the hospitial.

• CBS and Fux (yes, the “u” is intentional) reject Trojan ads that emphasize the pregnancy prevention element of condom use. As Amanda Marcotte put it:

  Translation: We can accept advertising of sexual devices if they are advertised as benefiting men. But if they insinuate something as crazy as the concept that men should respect women’s bodies, health, and choices, then they’re way out of line.

• While we’re on the subject, an increasing number of pharmacists are refusing to fill prescriptions for emergency contraception.

• Violence aimed at abortion clinics continues apace, despite mainline abortion opponents’ bleating to the contrary. And no, it doesn’t help that SCOTUS took away the use of RICO statutes against anti-abortion protesters in 2003, either.

• Eastern Michigan University covers up the rape and murder of one of its students out of fear of the impact on its bottom line.

• Liberals are routinely sent death threats for the crime of merely holding an opinion to the left of Torquemada.

• Muslim-Americans are also a frequent target of death threats and violence.

• SCOTUS, under its new Scalito-Roberts Axis, has just issued two rulings that strike at the heart of religious freedom in this country. The first, Federal Election Commission v. Wisconsin Right to Life, Inc., effectively gutted McCain-Feingold vis a vis interest-group ads aired right before an election. In announcing the ruling, the Roberts Court failed to mention whether or not a political litumus test would be applied in determining which ads were valid under this ruling and which are not. However, I would not be surprised to find that had the name on the right side of the v. been oh, say, Greenpeace, Iraq Vets Against the War or Amnesty International, the ruling would’ve been very different. Just sayin’.

  The other disturbing ruling in regard to religious freedom in America - what’s left of it, anyway - was the ruling that atheists “lack standing” to sue the federal government over The Most Holy George W. Christ’s Office of Faith-Based Initiatives in Hein v. Freedom From Religion Foundation, Inc. - for the crime of being atheist, apparently. Because we all know that atheists can’t be moral, much less harbor such “exclusively Christian” notions as altruism.

• To make matters worse, being atheist ranks dead last among qualities or traits that a person would consider favorably in a presidential candidate in a Gallup poll conducted back in February. (Mind you, this is the same Gallup that’s been in trouble for oversampling Republicans in the past.)

• There has been movement among some of the more extreme elements of the conservative echo chamber for a constitutional amendment effectively banning belief in Islam. Given the rapidity with which “ideas” propagate from the Nazi wing of the GOP to “mainstream truth” these days (thanks, “librul” media!), I wouldn’t be surprised to see this idea promoted among “Serious Thinkers” before the year is out - especially if there’s another 9/11.

• And last, but most certainly not least, let’s not forget that moment of Ultimate Conservative Rage™ that expressed itself as a Curly Howard Double Eye-Gouge Special™ aimed at the twin Holy Grails of Conservative Rage™ - the U.N. and feminists - when they sided with repressive conservative Muslim regimes in efforts to block the Convention for the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women.

The only thing missing is the honor killings. For all the screeching protests of the unhinged right to the contrary, there’s not a dime’s worth of difference between the theocrats that they lovingly endorse and the theocrats that they want to stuff inside of human-sized microweaves.

Because we all know that Christians - especially the conservative variety - are absolutely perfect in every way…

Atrios wonders:

Jon Stewart just flashed a clip of Eleanor Clift suggesting “Bloomberg/Hagel” was a “dream ticket.”

Is everyone crazy?

Yes.

This has been “Easy Answers to Simple Questions, Michael Bloomberg Edition.”

When you have news stories like this:

• Giuliani South Carolina chairman indicted on posession with intent to distribute cocaine charges.

• Romney carpetbagger fundraising guru hit with child abuse lawsuits.

you have to ask: how is it that conservatives are more moral than “libruls?”

Israel has allowed limited entry permission for innocent Palestinians fleeing the latest Hamas-created tragedy. Israel, for all its government’s faults, is unfortunately caught in a catch-22 situation here: do you do something to allevieate the humanitarian crisis in Gaza and leave yourself vulnerable to the almost certainty that some crazies will sneak in to cause havoc, or do you let the crisis fester, and take a massive PR hit that you can’t afford? Israel’s government weighed the costs and benefits of each option, and decided that trying to do the humane thing would be better for their long-term security. Most progressive of them.

Not that that will stop nutjobs like Pammy “Look At My” Juggs, who believe that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim. Line ‘em up and shove ‘em into those human-sized microwaves (with bacon), eh Pammy?

Maybe they ought to stop calling it the “Green Zone.”

You know the recent revelations that the Bush Mal-administration’s illegal use of RNC e-mail accounts for official government business (a violation of the Presidential Records Act) - in addition to being used to coordinate voter suppression efforts (a violation of the Hatch Act) - went much further than previously reported? The sort of thing that would be at least worthy of a couple of news cycles’ worth of front page coverage if the press were in any way interested in doing their jobs? The sort of thing that would get the same 24/7 nonstop coverage previously applied to rooting around in Bill Clinton’s zipper and sniffing Hillary’s panties?

That standard doesn’t apply to the Austin American-Statesman, evidently. The local fishwrap, oft derided by local conservatives as a “librul” newspaper, relegated coverage of the widening scandal to a brief blurb on the very back of Section A (the world and national news section) - BELOW THE FOLD.

Arrrrgh. It’s hard to have a democracy when one of the watchdogs refuses to do its job.

Remember that loony right-wing preacher I told you about who keeps getting his LTTE’s published in the local fishwrap? The one who suggested that we just randomly detonate nukes throughout the Muslim world, Al Qaeda-style?

Sadly, I think I can agree with the sentiment he expressed here (italics mine, bolding in the original):

Remote with attitude

I came up with a technological wrinkle. I have programmed my TV channel selector to automatically change channels when a “news report” mentions Brittany Spears, Alec Baldwin, David Hasselhoff, Simon Cowell, Anna Nicole, Rosie or Rosanne.

The next feature will be an automatic change if two or more people are speaking at the same time. Should be ready in a couple of days.

The final feature is one that if the TV folks come up with an override feature, the selector will automatically cancel my cable contract and shut down my TV.

This compares to several features already on my computer.

This has got to be a sign of the Apocalypse, or at least T3h R4ptur3. I haven’t figured out exactly what just yet.

Our home-grown Al-Qaeda at work. From Talk To Action, via Digby (emphasis mine):

Why Milwaukee? Why not? There are people here who recognize Paul Hill as a hero, and we would love to welcome others from around the country who share our belief. Hopefully, in the future, others will host events in their cities.

Planned events include:

Activities at our two remaining killing centers

Literature distribution

Ministry at the Federal Courthouse

Reenactment of 7-29-1994

Paul Hill March

Ministry at other public forums

Hmph. What sorts of “activities” do they have in mind? And “reenactment” of the brutal murder of an abortion provider? That can only spell trouble, I’m afraid. You think this is going to be some tame “Civil War reenactment?” Think again. This is the Eric Rudolph wing of the anti-abortion movement we’re talking about. The wing that mainline abortion foes and Professional Outrage Maven Bill “Be glad I don’t call for your f*ckin’ head!” Donohue say doesn’t exist. In all likelihood, then, such “reenactments” will include drunken frat boys peeing and shitting on the “corpse” of the victim.

Tell me again how ONLY Muslims are incurably violent reprobates who need to be stuffed in some human-sized microwaves?