JABbering Stooge

Shorter Michael Medved (hat tip, the fine folks at Sadly, No!):

Six inconvenient truths about the U. S. and slavery

Libruls unbellyfeel the fact that slavery was the doubleplus goodest thing that ever happened to those "swarthy males." Oh, and reparations are doubleplus ungood!

See Jillian for a most excellent shredding of Medved’s crap. Meanwhile, the comments section is extra precious:

When my slave owner relatives moved, some of the slaves went with them because they wanted to be with them. One of the women slaves became the local midwife & she was buried on my family plot. I’m proud of both the slave & the slave owner, in America anything is possible.

Yeah, I’m sure your slave-owning relatives were extra nice and gave them the crumbs off their table and the sweat off their balls to convince them. 

You did not read Medved’s words close enough. He said "in the history of the REPUBLIC". The republic did not begin until 1776 so your comments about slaves coming in 1609 are immaterial.

Should the USA be blamed for things that happened before its existence? Should America be blamed for British policies? In this vein, should we today be blamed for anything done hundreds of years ago by other people? Of course the answers are no, no, and no.

Okay, if the U.S. is completely innocent for the start of slavery, why the hell was the Three-fifths Compromise necessary just to get the Southern states (you know, where the bulk of the slaves were) to sign on to the Constitution?

And to the disbelieves out there, yes the U.S. was one of the first to outlaw slavery (1865). England I think was the first in 1835.

<John McLaughlin>WRONG!</John McLaughlin>

SCROTUS stopped segregation in schools under the belief that was harming the education of blacks. Well, that theory has been totally shot down. The academic divide is as great or greater now than before.

Different strokes for different folks. You just hate the law of nature.

No, I don’t hate "the law of nature." I just hate recycled, discredited, racist BS.

If there was segregation, the public school in Jena, LA would not have been burned to the ground and there would be 6 blacks who would not be facing charges for assault.

No, you didn’t misread that. He actually said that desegregation caused the Jena 6 bullcrap! Excuse me while I

I’m sorry. The toxicity of the place just overwhelmed me. You’re on your own from here.

Is it time for an intervention on Pillz-E yet? Yesterday, the porcine “entertainer” repeated one of his favorite slanders: only Republicans love their country enough to die for it; any military personnel who dare question the infallibility of The Most Holy George W. Christ (and His Prophet, Petraeus) are “librul” plants.

CALLER 2: No, it’s not, and what’s really funny is, they never talk to real soldiers. They like to pull these soldiers that come up out of the blue and talk to the media.

LIMBAUGH: The phony soldiers.

Completely and utterly disgusting.

John Soltz, co-founder of VoteVets.org, had an excellent response to Pillz-E’s flaming bag of feces. However, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for the rotund chickenhawk to follow your suggestion. After all, this is the guy who got out of serving in Vietnam thanks to a festering boil on his butt. And so, Limbaugh is now a festering boil on America’s butt.

So, Senator Cornyn, where’s your resolution condemning Pillz-E for his odious remarks? I thought so.

Say it with me, Keith: “Comedian” Rush Limbaugh - Today’s Worst Person In The World™!!!

Sen. Cornyn,

I just read your comments on the efforts by Democrats to attach hate crimes legislation to the defense spending bill, and quite frankly, I was appalled by your naked hypocrisy.

You said: “I think it’s shameful we’re changing the subject to take care of special interest legislation at a time like this.” You also criticized the maneuver as “heavy handed.”

Riddle me this, Senator. Which is the more shameful hijacking - requiring that homosexuals be treated as human beings, or using the Senate as the thought police against organizations like MoveOn.org? Which is the more heavy handed?

You, sir, are an embarrassment to the state of Texas. I, for one, will be all too happy to vote you out of office this November.

Sincerely,

James A. Baker

Proving why he has to have the names of them dang furriners and furrin contrees spelled phonetically for him, President All Your Base Are Belong To Us offloaded this gem to tout his disastrous education policy:

As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.

Sounds like he’s been writing lyrics for Limozeen…

Even under the weather, Keith Olbermann kicks Der Furher’s posterior.

He says it better than I could ever hope to do.

Newsweek: “New research finds that people who give up on unattainable goals are physically and mentally healthier than ‘bulldogs’ who persevere against all odds.”

So what does that make The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible?

MSRNC: Canadian dollar reaches virtual parity with U.S. dollar for the first time in 31 years.

The dollar took another fall on currency markets Thursday, reaching one-to-one parity against the Canadian dollar for the first time in 30 years and falling to a new low against the 13-nation European currency.

How’s that class warfare against labor working out for ya?

Canada’s currency may be nicknamed the “loonie,” but this just goes to show that we’re the loonies for allowing conservatives to inflict their wildly irresponsible fiscal policies on us.

Sidebar: Japan’s currency, the yen, currently trades at ¥114.18 for every $1*. If the dollar continues to fall, how long until even the yen achieves parity with it? If we elect another Rethuglican in 2008, we may get the chance to find out…

* Depending on when you see this post, YMMV.

The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible held a rare press conference today. In addition to denouncing S-CHIP as socialist wacko handouts that he would veto with all due contempt, President 29% Approval Rating had this to say about the MoveOn ad:

I thought the ad was disgusting. I felt like the ad was an attack not only on General Petraeus, but on the U.S. military. And I was disappointed that not more leaders in the Democrat Party spoke out strongly against that kind of ad. And that leads me to come to this conclusion: that most Democrats are afraid of irritating a left-wing group like MoveOn.org — or more afraid of irritating them than they are of irritating the United States military. That was a sorry deal. It’s one thing to attack me; it’s another thing to attack somebody like General Petraeus.

Wow. Not drinking the “Petraeus Is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread” Kool-Aid™ = Hating The Troops™. Way to make dissent a thoughtcrime, Mr. President. Do you want the 53% of Americans who found General Petraeus not credible to be exiled, the way Senator McCain does? Or will you simply extraordinarily render them to those black site prisons to be waterboarded?

And speaking of McCain, it’s not like you’re above attacking people’s patriotism for not automatically worshipping the ground you walk on, Mr. President. It was not a Democrat that had his political advisor spread rumors that the late Gov. Ann Richards was a witting accomplice of The Gay Mafia. It was not a Democrat who had his political advisor spread rumors that a Senator from his own party was driven insane by NVA torture and fathered an illegitimate black baby.

Most importantly, Mr. President, it was not the Democrats that spent the last six years attacking the patriotism and loyalty of anyone who didn’t blindly believe that you were God’s gift to mankind.

You want to talk about “disgusting,” Mr. President? LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR!

Our junior senator apparently has nothing better to do with his time than to waste the Senate’s time with manufactured outrage over MoveOn. As if conservatives haven’t spent the last six years questioning the patriotism of everyone with the temerity to even hold an opinion to the left of Caligula.

Howard Kurtz.

* With apologies to Atrios.