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Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
WikiWiki WingNutDaily

Shorter Aaron Klein: The fact that members of Mahmoud Abbas’ Fatah party were caught in an attempted terrorist attack after being granted amnesty only proves that all [anti-Muslim slur] are untrustworthy subhumans and that Israel should quickly implement a Final Solution to the Muslim Problem.

Shorter Bob Unruh: An undercover hatchet job, er, I mean, “investigation” proves that all libruls, and Planned Parenthood in particular, are the real racists! Take that! Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!

Shorter Joseph Farah: ZOMG! The U.S./U.N. black helicopters are coming to take away your God-given right to waste energy with incandescent light bulbs!

Shorter Jerome Corsi: Somebody call for a swiftboating of John McCain?

Shorter Aaron Klein (again!): See? We TOLD you B. Hussein Osama was a super double-secret Muslim who wants to bring Sharia law to ‘Murka, make your kids gay marry and abort all white fetuses! But did you listen? Nooooooooooo.

Shorter WingNutDaily (no byline given): Fellow conservatives, it is my great joy to announce that Comrade Rossiter has, in the style of Comrade Billy Frist the Catkiller* Martyr, telediagnosed all libruls as criminally insane!

Shorter Jerome Corsi (again!): Fuck the NIE! Mohamad ElBaradei has finally seen the light! Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition! He says that Iran will have nukes in 24 hours! Someone get Jack Bauer on the phone!

Okay, I’m getting a migraine from the sheer stupidity. And that’s just the “news” section!

* Via.

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
Shorter Kay Bailey Hutchison

CBS News (via Drudgico) — GOP Sen.: Iraq Bill “a Bullet Right In The Hearts Of Our Troops”

DOLCHSTOß!!!

WOW. Just…wow. No wonder she got the silver medal in tonight’s Worst Person(s) Derby™.

Personally, I think that was worse than Jonah Goldberg pulling a reductio ad Hitlerum. Then again, it was kinda hard to pick, what with all three contestants playing a game of “Really Bad WWII Analogies.” (Naturally, the theme was “Conservatives = Churchill, Libruls = Nazis.”)


*HEADDESK*

Nedra Pickler blindly parrots the GOP talking point that Obama hates America via an interview with GOP dirty-trickster Roger Stone. In her interview, Pickler fails to note Stone’s threats against Gov. Spitzer’s father nor setting up an anti-Hillary Smear Boat group with a blatantly misogynist acronym.

Sadly, that’s not good enough for far-right "media watchdog group" NewsBusters, who uses the interview to argue that Pickler is in the tank for Obama. Keep trying, Nedra! If you keep indirectly smearing the Democrats, I’m sure you’ll get in the right-wingers’ good graces someday! emoticon

Nedra Pickler? More like Nedra Shit-Pickler!

And then there’s Mark "I’m sorry the media isn’t strictly a pro-GOP goodfacts only transmitter" Halperin suggests that McCain can win by playing the race card! I shit you not:

6. Allow some supporters to risk being accused of using the race card when criticizing Obama.

*snip*

11. Emphasize Barack Hussein Obama’s unusual name and exotic background through a Manchurian Candidate prism.

Oy. I think The Editors put it best in their response to Halperin’s “plausible deniability” update (Halperin wrote in bold, red font, “Note: This is analysis, not advice.”):

You need to go fuck yourself. This is both.

Mark Halperin — today’s Worst Person In The World™*!

Your "librul" media at work, folks! emoticonemoticonemoticonemoticon

* With apologies to Keith Olbermann.


Dodd Speaks

Posted at 09:54
by J. A. Baker
in Politics; Election '08

I got on Sen. Dodd’s mass e-mail list when I responded to a campaign on his website during the FISA fight. I just received an e-mail from him this morning on the election. He is endorsing Sen. Obama.

Dear James,

We have been through a lot in this past year and your friendship and support have meant so much to me. That is why I wanted to let you know of my decision to endorse a Democratic candidate for President - and that I have decided to support Barack Obama.

We all understand how much is at stake in this election and that it is more important than ever that we put a Democrat in the White House.

And while both of our Party’s remaining candidates are extremely talented and would make excellent commanders-in-chief, I am throwing my support to the candidate who I believe will open the most eyes to our shared Democratic vision.

I’m deeply proud to be the first 2008 Democratic presidential candidate to endorse Barack Obama. He is ready to be President. And I am ready to support him - to work with him and for him and help elect him our 44th President.

Put simply, I believe Barack Obama is uniquely qualified to help us face this housing crisis, create good jobs, strengthen America’s families in this 21st century global economy, unite the world against terrorism and end the war in Iraq - and perhaps most importantly, call the American people to shared service and sacrifice. In this campaign, he has drawn millions of voters into politics for the first time in their lives and shown us that we are united by so much more than that which divides us.

That is why I believe the time has come for Democrats to come together as a Party and focus on winning the general election. The stakes are too high not to.

The last seven years have been as difficult as any I can remember. More than ever, we need a President who will inspire us to take part in the political process and change our country’s path.

Today, when we need it most, we are hearing a new call from Barack Obama. And I hope you, like me, will answer it in the affirmative.

Please get involved in Barack Obama’s campaign now:

http://action.barackobama.com/doddsupporters

Sincerely,

Chris Dodd

Paid for by Chris Dodd for President, Inc., [REDACTED]

And so, it begins…

Monday, February 25th, 2008
Suppressive and Glib

Posted at 23:12
by J. A. Baker
in The WTF?! Files; Culture of Corruption

Earlier tonight, the local news had a report on a controversial “medical” device known as the EPFX. The device’s “inventor” is wanted on felony fraud charges and Lance Armstrong has slapped the bastard with a cease-and-desist letter to try and stop him from fraudulently claiming to have the seven-time Tour de France winner’s endorsement. My first reaction to the story? “This device sounds like a glorified E-meter!”


Notes on a Blog Comedy Gag

The fine folks at Sadly, No! have done it again with their latest Two Minute TownHall. I just wanted to add my two cents on a couple of the screeds covered.

First up is Kathryn Jean Lopez (known to Sadly, Nosians as “K-Lo”) with this bit of “commentary” on Tweety’s ambush of Texas State Senator Kirk Watson (D - Austin):

The poor local pol’s answer was instructive (and accurate): “Well, I’m not going to be able to name you specific items of legislative accomplishments.”

Pfft. Accurate, my ass! It’s as accurate as me claiming to be Elvis Presley’s love-child! And I’m not the first to say it. In the immediate aftermath, some commenters at other (better-trafficked) blogs have provided reams of Sen. Obama’s legislative accomplishments, in particular, the Lugar-Obama Cooperative Proliferation Detection and Interdiction Assistance Act of 2006 (S. 2566) — aimed at keeping loose nukes out of the hands of terrorists — and the Coburn-Obama Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act of 2006 (S. 2590), which mandates the creation of a searchable, publicly-available website “to track approximately $1 trillion in federal grants, contracts, earmarks and loans.” And that’s not all. The day after the Iowa caucus, former West Virginia State Legislator-turned Washington Post columnist Charles Peters pointed out Obama’s extensive list of legislative credits in his role as an Illinois state senator, with a special focus on Obama’s role in making Illinois the first state to require that police interviews with suspects be videotaped to ensure that any confessions are legit. (One can also find a good resource of Sen. Obama’s legislative record over at this diary entry at Daily Kos).

But then again, it never was about Sen. Obama’s qualifications to begin with, was it? Any Smear Will Do.*

If anything, the incident highlighted the need for the Obama campaign to better prepare their spokespeople for the kind of “Gotcha!” questions that right-wing tools like Chris Matthews will be slinging on a daily, if not hourly basis.

And then there’s Linda Chavez, the woman who via the miracles of Wingnut Welfare was transformed from The Most Holy George W. Christ’s failed initial choice for Secretary of Labor to the proud owner of a cushy gig at TownHall, where she’s free to question the patriotism of anyone to the left of Father Coughlin — such as, say, Michelle Obama.

I think the Sadly, No! summary says it all:

Shorter Linda Chavez: True patriots are ‘my country, right or wrong…’ conservative types. Then there are awful liberals like Michelle Obama who actually want America to conform to its ideals — who, in short, hate America as it is.

You just know that if she were a character in Babylon 5 she’d be on ISN nightly questioning Capt. Sheridan’s decision to wear civilian clothes instead of his EarthForce uniform during the early days of the Earth Alliance Civil War, and that she’d be the one of the first to accuse him of suffering from Minbari War Syndrome. In and of itself, that’s rather fitting, given the frequency with which anyone offering the slightest criticism of The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible is automatically dismissed as a sufferer of Bush Derangement Syndrome, and also most ironic given that the actor who plays Capt. Sheridan is no liberal.

* With apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice.

Friday, February 22nd, 2008
Blogsiversary 3.0 Electric Boogaloo

Posted at 20:08
by J. A. Baker
in Of Blogs and HTML

Yep. It’s true. I’ve been doing this blogging thing for three years as of today. I’d like to thank The Academy my readers (all two of you), Adorable Girlfriend at The Republic of Dogs, the fine folks at Sadly, No!, and, of course, my friends and comrades at Austin Drinking Liberally.

Sidebar: I think it’s time I updated my blogroll to point to the new URL for the RoD…

Thursday, February 21st, 2008
Drone Riots!*

Posted at 19:13
by J. A. Baker
in Uncategorized; My Inner Nerd

Serbian rioters set fire to the U.S. embassy in Belgrade in retaliation for the U.S. recognizing Kosovo’s independence.

* With apologies to Sid Meier.

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
Worst. President. Ever.

Posted at 19:32
by J. A. Baker
in Politics; Co-Dependent Democrats

Why are the co-dependent Democrats still afraid of Mr. 19% Approval?


The definition of insanity

Posted at 19:13
by J. A. Baker
in The WTF?! Files; Adults in Charge?; Election '08

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Case in point, the Clinton campaign. Since SuperDuperMegaUltraOMGHyper Tuesday™, surrogates for the Clinton campaign have:

And what has it earned her? Ten straight electoral defeats.

Nice job!

And in other Election 2008 coverage, LowerManhattanite over at Group News Blog has an entertaining assessment of Obama’s recent electoral successes.

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