JABbering Stooge

Via Robert Greenwald and the fine folks at BraveNewFilms:

Cheney Defends Troop Surge At Manhattan Event

Ze Democrates have violated ze Siegfried Oath! Ze penalty for breaking ze Siegfried Oath is Dess!

Via ThinkProgress

William “2000 years ago, someone died on a cross” Buckingham — one of the key players in Kitzmiller v. Dover — apparently shared a dark secret with a certain right-wing radio shock jock:

Buckingham never fully recovered from his injuries or the seemingly endless series of surgeries, and they left him essentially unemployable, and at risk for reinjury with little provocation. Insurance companies did not want him in the workplaces they covered, he says. He went back to school and earned a paralegal degree, in the hope that this and his law enforcement experience would make him a valuable asset to the legal community, but work proved all but impossible to find. So he began to seek opportunities to volunteer — coaching for Little League, fundraising for the church, anything to keep from sitting in the house, vegetating, and popping painkillers. He was getting by on ever-increasing doses of the painkiller OxyContin, a powerful opioid time-release prescription drug known for both its addictive qualities and its ability to generate a heroin-like high. Oftentimes it left Buckingham unable to drive, and his wife would have to take the wheel. He began to suspect that he might be addicted, and he tried to wean himself from a drug — sometimes referred to as “hillbilly heroin,” because its abuse has been particularly high in rural America. But he did not succeed; the withdrawal symptoms would become too much for him.

Monkey Girl — page 38

His addiction even apparently affected the timeline in the Kitzmiller case:

The practice in Dover, as in many small school districts, is that all textbook purchases must be voted on by the full school board, and the books themselves, after recommendations from the faculty, are to be reviewed by the curriculum committee before the board votes. The new chairman of the committee appointed himself to review Biology. Once he was through, he most decidedly did not want the authors’ autographs. What he wanted was a different book.

He was forced to hold off, however, owing to his increasing addiction to OxyContin. It was ruining his life, causing wild mood swings between euphoria and depression. A few months earlier, national headlines has exposed the radio commentator Rush Limbaugh’s addiction to painkillers, and Buckingham decided it was time to take action. He made a public announcement at the school board meeting on February 2, 2004; asked for support and forgiveness; then took a leave of absence and headed off to treatment and detoxification. “Pray for me,” he asked. One of the local newspapers, the York Daily Record, lauded his courage in an editorial and wished him well. He returned a month later, outwardly cured. Only much later would he reveal that he was still addicted (though no longer using the drug) and suffering from symptoms of withdrawal that left him moody, short-tempered, and, he said, afflicted with periodic memory loss. His memory problems would loom large in the months and years to come. One thing he did not forget, however, was his distaste for the Dragonfly Book.

Monkey Girl — page 40

Now I know that my sample size of two is absurdly small; nonetheless, I’m beginning to see a pattern here…

Ruh-roh. Guess who didn’t do so well at the box office this weekend?

“Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed,” a rare documentary opening in wide release, debuted at No. 9 with $3.1 million. Released by Rocky Mountain Pictures, the film features Ben Stein as he challenges Darwinian theories that prevail in academic circles and suggests that life could have emerged through intelligent design.

Note the “wide release” bit. It’ll be important later on in my rant.

So let’s compare the rather pathetic performance of the Falling Baker* of documentaries to some other works of recent vintage.

• The last controversial documentary to come out in a presidential election year, Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11, pulled in $23.9 million in its opening weekend — the top-grossing movie that weekend, despite a limited release compared to Expelled.

• Ironically, the official blog for Expelled gloats that its wider release compared to Fahrenheit 9/11 is an indicator of its wider appeal than Moore’s documentary about Bush’s first term. Now do you see why I felt it was important to note the “wide release” remark?

• Another film that the Talibangelical wing of the Republican party loves to hate is The Golden Compass, based on the first book of atheist author Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. That movie (barely) topped the list in its opening weekend, grossing about $28 million when the smoke cleared that weekend. And speaking of which, did you notice at the time how the “librul” media was gleefully crowing about the failure of the movie? If The Golden Compass was a bomb, then Expelled is a Daisy Cutter!

Meanwhile, over at Dembski’s Crib, they’ve gone into full spin mode. DaveScot reached for the smelling salts over an unflattering assessment of the film over at Box Office Prophets:

I wonder why he has no problem commenting on any other movie? Is it because he can’t bring himself to say that Expelled broke the top ten in total box office receipts?

Yeah, it made the top ten in its opening weekend. So did Catwoman.

But that’s not the only mendacity perpetrated by the former Dell programmer who thinks he’s smarter than the evil “Darwinists” because he’s got a couple of patents and a self-reported IQ a couple of standard deviations above the mean. Here he is claiming that Expelled had the Second Highest Opening Box Office Gross Ev4r!!!!

Expelled easily ranks as having the second largest gross box office receipts on opening weekend of any political documentary ever. It is bested only by Fahrenheit 9/11. As of Sunday morning it has an estimated $3.2 million gross.

Sadly, No! That honor belongs to another Michael Moore documentary — SiCKO. In other words, instead of being number two, Expelled and its apologists are full of Number Two™. Even if you accept slashfilm.com’s lower $4.5 million estimate of SiCKO’s opening weekend gross, that’s still about 45% more than what Expelled brought in. Why such simple math seems to be beyond a man whose livelihood was in a field that requires solid math skills boggles the mind.

But, then again, maybe it’s not Mr. Springer’s math skills that are the issue here…

* Cf.

Benedict: Protect Children from Future Abuse

Earth to Pope Benedict Arnold I: It’s the pedophilia, stupid!

Via ThinkProgress:

A new Government Accountability Office opinion released yesterday finds that the Bush administration “violated federal law last year when it restricted states’ ability to provide health insurance to children of middle-income families, and its new policy is therefore unenforceable.” Twenty-two states already provide such coverage or want to do so, and several states have filed lawsuits challenging the Bush administration’s rules.

So tell me, co-dependent Dems; why is impeachment STILL off the table?

* With apologies to Kanye West.