Monday, July 21st, 2008
This is Your Brain on Oxycontin
I was on my way into work this morning, and I heard KLBJ recycling a month-old “Morning Update” from Pillz-E:
But don’t let that happy science talk fool you. Critics warn that turning this thing on might lead to an Armageddon-type disaster! The collider could spawn a black hole, which would swallow up the whole Earf. Poof! We’re gone. Or it could release particles that could melt the planet and us, of course, right along with it.
The collider-science guys dismiss these predictions but [the “doomsday” predictions are] not being made by your run-of-the-mill kooks. One critic, Walter L. Wagner, a lawyer and a physicist, has filed a lawsuit here in the States to stop this thing before it’s too late. He says there’s a “significant risk” that there might be “unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet.”
Yep. You heard him correctly, folks. Never mind the professional scientists, people who actually know what the hell they’re talking about, they’re a bunch of incompetent boobs who will kill us all! I guess Limbaugh would have a natural home with the anti-vaccination kooks. Maybe he can join the Savage Weiner in smacking around autistic children.
