JABbering Stooge

A fake trailer for a fake movie about a Palin presidency:

Tonight’s Cafferty File:

Sidebar: Umm…Yeah. CNN’s video embeds SUCK.

Via ABC News: "Neo-Nazi Plot One of ‘A Handful’ of ‘Serious’ Threats Against Obama"

The officials say Obama has been the target of well over 500 threats, most of which are not taken seriously.

[…]

Officials say there have been far fewer threats against Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain.

Gee, I wonder why.

You know, when even IEEE is warning that electronic voting machines can be easily hacked, the notion that republican operatives working for manufacturers of said machines “hacking the vote” is suddenly no longer a “conspiracy theory.”

Shorter Dick Morris:

Hope for McCain: Polls Say He’s Closing the Gap

• If I cherry-pick the polling data to only include results I like, then I can make the case that McCain is not on his way to being the Walter Mondale of the GOP. Brilliant!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Dennis Prager accidentally reveals how conservatives really feel about equality, and earns Worst Person honors for it. Heckuva job, Denny!

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I think we’ve found our new Stupidest Fucking Guy On The Face Of The Earth™* — McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds. Here he is trying to defend Gov. Sarah Palin’s record as Alaska’s Socialist-in-Chief:

BOUNDS: No, in Alaska its a unique state because all the residents there have a unique share of the natural resources, that the oil companies come in and use, so therefore they share the revenues of the resources. […] Its absurd to equate sharing the oil resources that all of these Alaskans have an ownership stake in, and trying to negotiate a deal with the oil companies that use those resources that —

Shorter Tucker Bounds: "It’s not socialism when we do it!"

Seriously, why does the McCain campaign keep Tucker Bounds on the payroll? He’s been spanked badly on at least two occasions by the daytime cable anchors, and even some of the Freepers are disgusted with him.

But if you’re looking for comedy gold, you sure as hell can’t do much better.

* ©2003-2004 Gen. Tommy Franks

Does the United States of America Still Exist?

• Say, fellow conservatives, isn’t it about time we implemented the plan laid out in my wingnut revenge fantasy disguised as a novel?

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

While Stalkin’ Malkin was working herself into a hate-filled ragegasm over this:

This was going on:

Well, folks, it looks like we’ve got another one of those moments in Virginia politics when we scratch our heads and ask, “What is wrong with these people?”

Here’s a the short version of what happened (full explanation below the fold): On Friday, two Feder staffers approached Congressman Wolf in a public location to ask him some questions. Two different individuals who were accompanying Congressman Wolf (staffers? relatives? friends?) assaulted the Feder staffers, as you can see quite clearly in the video. The first Feder staffer was hit with a cane and then punched. The second staffer (as you will see on the video) was pinned to a wall and forcibly held there. All of this took place in the presence of Congressman Wolf, who stood by and did nothing to intervene.

Watch the video for yourself and see what you think about this kind of bullying, political and otherwise. I mean, c’mon, just because you don’t want to answer someone’s questions - or even if they’re annoying you a bit — that does NOT make it okay to stand idly by as your goons physically attack people for the audacity of exercising their First Amendment rights.

Here’s the video in question:

So, tell us Michelle, is assault okay if its one of your own doing it?

ATF interdicts skinhead plot to assassinate Obama.

Tell me again how there’s no connection between McRove/Mooselini’s rhetoric, the shouts of “Kill him!”, “Off with his head!”, Susan Smith*-style “fear the darkie” hoaxes and this?

Right. I thought so.

* Cf.