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Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Shorter Verbatim California, Arizona and Florida Conservatives

Sidebar: I’m starting the War on Christmas early,so sue me…

Three US states reject same-sex marriage

The Damnation Song (Sung to the tune of “God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen”)

God damn you homosexuals!
How dare you act so gay!
And what you do and say,
And where you put your penises—
Thank God, we’re not that way!
We do not like the things you do in bed—
You do in bed—
We don’t like those things, so you can never wed!


Alternate Shorter:

White Christians (sung to the tune of “White Christmas”)

My favorite folks are white Christians
Who don’t give Democrats a break.
The God we believe in
Says, “Kill the heathen
And burn witches at the stake!”

My favorite folks are white Christians
Who won’t put up with any vice.
Guys like Dick Cheney are nice
And tokens like Condoleeza Rice!


“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.

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