JABbering Stooge

Dick Vader and “Fredo” Gonzales indicted in Texas on prisoner abuse charges.

As my blog pen pal, Canadian Cynic, so aptly put it, “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ”

Stalkin’ Malkin, thinking that she’s found a double standard, bwa-ha-has over a reader e-mail about NYC implementing a local version of the FACE Act:

You can stand in front of a church yelling “Mormon scum,” but if you pray in front of a taxpayer-subsidized abortion clinic, watch out.

Well, Michelle, that’s ‘cause gays don’t bomb churches or shoot pastors when they lose. Zygote zealots are known for doing that.*

* Cf.

You know, rational people would look at the situation American auto industry is facing and see bad management, an even poorer business model, global warming denialism, and a Santayana-esque failure to learn the lessons of history as the causes.

Not Neal Boortz. No, he looks at the self-inflicted disaster facing the auto industry and lays the entirety of the blame on…wait for it…T3H 3VIL UNIONS!!!!!! This is because demagogues like Boortz are ideologically committed to the idea that managers are infallible gods and workers are stupid, lazy bums who need to be micromanaged and always and forever produce precisely zero value for a company.

No wonder why he’s been soliciting “stupid employee” stories from his listeners. After all, we all know that no manager has ever done anything stupid, right?

Right.

As JoeMyGod put it, "File this under ‘Boo Fucking Hoo’[.]" Focus on the Family Anus is being introduced to the term "downsizing":

Focus on the Family is poised to announce major layoffs to its Colorado Springs-based ministry and media empire today. The cutbacks come just weeks after the group pumped more than half a million dollars into the successful effort to pass a gay-marriage ban in California.

Methinks funneling millions of dollars into anti-gay, anti-woman hate is a poor business model. Oh, well. I’m sure The Most Holy George W. Christ the Infallible will be all to happy to give them a $700 billion bailout.

This cartoon by John Sherffius sums it up nicely:

Umm, Michelle? You know those Prop. H8 supporters you’re constantly rushing to defend? The ones you shriek “Martyr!” about every time a gay person so much as sneezes on them? Well, now they’re threatening the California Supreme Court with (violent) “revolution” if they don’t get their way.

Oh, and this isn’t the first time a religious conservative has threatened judges who didn’t vote the way he/she wanted.

These are our self-anointed moral betters folks — exhibiting all the morality of Vito Corleone.

With apologies to Claude-Michel Schönberg and Alain Boublil (and by extension, Giacomo Puccini).

Bravely bold Sir Wingnut rode forth from Washington
He was not afraid to lose, O brave Sir Wingnut
He was not at all afraid to be voted out of office
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Wingnut

He was not in the least bit scared to be caught in a wide stance
Or to have buddies jailed for fraud or porking pages
To die in bed wtih two wetsuits and a dildo up his bum
In an “autoerotic mishap,” brave Sir Wingnut

His VP not vetted and his daughter pregnant
And his gay hooker squealing ‘bout his crystal meth
And his straight hooker revealing his diaper fetish
And his penis…

(“Well that’s enough music for now, lads…There’s dirty work afoot.”)

Brave Sir Wingnut ran away (“No!”)
Bravely ran away, away (“I didn’t!”)
When the Shitpile reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled (“No!”)
Yes, brave Sir Wingnut turned about
And gallantly he chickened out (“I didn’t!”)
Bravely taking to his feet (“I never did!”)
He beat a very brave retreat (“All lies!”)
Bravest of the brave, Sir Wingnut (“I never!”)

Inspired by a comment Randi Rhodes made at the end of the first segment of hour 2. With apologies to Monty Python.

Heh. Looks like I’m not the only one who’s been doing some moving lately. JJ has decided to change blogging platforms. Her new digs are here. I’ll have my blogroll updated by the time most of you see this post. Have fun!

Stalkin’ Malkin huffs and puffs over Prop. H8 backlash:

You must read this. Read the whole thing. Make sure you get to this part:

• The mainstream media have so far failed to get across the intensity of the ordeal that supporters of Prop 8 may now be subject to—something I realized on coming across this extraordinary blog account of a meeting at the legendary restaurant El Coyote in Hollywood, not far from where I grew up in Laurel Canyon. The meeting was between the elderly Mormon owner, who donated $100 to support Prop 8, and Prop 8 opponents, who are threatening a boycott, and it is as soul-grinding as something out of Soviet show trial history.

Yoo-hoo. Soul-fixer. Hello?

Meanwhile, those oh-so-loving, never-violent religious conservatives were doing what, exactly?

Madison County, Idaho was once dubbed "the reddest place in America" by Salon, but that didn’t make it any less shocking when elementary school children allegedly started chanting "assassinate Obama" on the school bus.

Let’s see…boycotts, which are apparently only okay when its James Dobson or Bill O’Reilly doing it, versus calls for the assassination of a duly-elected head-of-state. Does Malkin really need my help figuring out which is legally actionable? (And it’s kids doing this, for Zombie Jesus’ sake! What are their parents teaching them?)

Oh. Right. I guess hate is okay if its a religious conservative doing it.

Update (14:08 CST, 11/14/2008): As blogger Nine at Left of Center points out, MalKKKin and her blackshirt cohort would be doing the exact same thing that Prop. H8 opponents are doing had the gay-bashing amendment failed.

Update II (14:24 CST, 11/14/2008): And yes, that means up to and including vandalism and anthrax hoaxes. I’m talking firebombing the Castro District and “suspicious white powder” at the HRC offices.