Thursday, August 27th, 2009
The Most Offensive* Man on the Intertubes
If you’re wondering why I’ve been taking part in a flame war against Andrew “Combs are a Commie plot to sap my precious bodily fluids” Breitbart, let me point you to this tweet of his:
How I calculated WHEN to attack TK: Multiplied time he spent trying 2 save MJKs life & to be safe multiplied it by billion. But still got 0.
So I went to the Ratscrews Division of JABbering Stooge LLC, and put them to work developing a corresponding mathematical formula. Here’s what they came up with.
Formula for Determining When to Respond to Andrew Breitbart’s Tweets About Ted Kennedy:
tC = tBHDQ x k
Where tC = time until counterattacking Breitbart and
tBHDQ = total length of time Breitbart’s Basic Human Decency Quotient rose above a threshold value of 6.626 x 10-34 in the first 24 hours after Sen. Kennedy’s death was announced
(k is a constant value)
Studying this formula for about a day, I discovered an interesting corollary:
Given:
tC = tBHDQ x k
Then:
∀ k ∈ ℜ s.t. k > 0, tC = 0
Trust me, I tried — even with k = 6.02 x 1023.
* Cf.
