JABbering Stooge

Drifty is once again en fuego for bringing us this musing about Sarah Palin criticizing the president from Hong Kong:

Second, as all of you who escaped our nation’s 25-year-long Conservative prefrontal Limbaughtomy remember, six short years ago when a singer blurted out 15 unprepared words dissing George W. Bush at a concert in London (or, as wingnuts always ominously intone “On Foreign Soil!”), the Right absolutely lost its collective shit.

There were marches. Vigils. Coast-to-coast Hate Radio rants. A virtual embargo on playing the music of “The Dixie Chicks” anywhere in this Home of the Brave.

It was pretty much this…

Hell, they made a movie about it and everything:

Or don’t you remember?

But now, of course, everything has changed.

Now the White, Conservative, Southern, Evangelical, Republican imbecile failure is out of the White House.

Now the smart, Black, Centrist Democrat Secret Muslim Communist is in the White House.

Exactly. The new rule on the right goes something like this:

• What? A popular all-female country band criticized a warmongering Republican president while they were on the soil of an ostensible ally? BURN THE WITCHES!

• What? A moronic ex-governor who quit halfway through her first term criticized the first African-American president for trying to clean up the mess his predecessor left while she was on commie soil? Who cares? We have bigger worries, like whether or not ACORN is fluoridating our water in order to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids!

Gale Norton being investigated for corruption while she was serving as The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible’s Secretary of the Interior? *Yawn*

A few ACORN employees got played by conservative ideologues with an agenda (possibly illegally)? MOST IMPORTANT NEWS STORY IN THE HISTORY OF JOURNALISM EVAR!

The irrepressible TBogg, on the latest outbreak of ACORN Derangement Syndrome:

If ACORN had just slaughtered a bunch of Muslims in the street, instead of giving advice to fake pimps, they’d still be eligible for some of that sweet sweet government moolah.

I did? Oh goody! Well, here’s one more example. I almost did a spit take when I read this comment about Michelle “McCarthyism 2.0, bitches!” Bachmann’s plans to violate federal law by refusing to fill out the census:

Wingnuts have both long (still worried about how Bill Clinton invented the blow job and Ted Kennedy invented the drunk driving accident) and short memories, depending on what they need, and in this case, they’re being instructed to forget that the Census happens every ten years, that it’s constitutionally mandated, and that so far, it has not sapped you or any family members of precious bodily fluids. Instead, wingnuts are being instructed to be up in arms about the Obama administration’s new invention that is surely designed to rape your daughters and take your guns.

I can’t really top that in hilarity if I tried.

And just why was the crazy lady from Minnesota bragging about her intent to break the law a year from now?

In an interview Wednesday morning with The Washington Times “America’s Morning News,” Mrs. Bachmann, Minnesota Republican, said the questions have become “very intricate, very personal” and she also fears ACORN, the community organizing group that came under fire for its voter registration efforts the crime of registering Democratic voters last year, will be part of the Census Bureau’s door-to-door information collection efforts. [Fixed your typo, Moonie Times. — Ed.]

Yes, ACORN. She’s wrapping her head in tinfoil to answer the door when the Census Bureau comes calling! Isn’t that lovely?

I’m starting to see Canadian Cynic’s point on this — these people are not to be engaged or debated. They are to be mocked and ridiculed because clearly they are Not Serious Thinkers™.

Gee, what a surprise. Sen. Judd Gregg (R — Naturally) waited until President Obama was en route to the Abraham Lincoln dinner to withdraw his nomination for Commerce Secretary (a position he begged Obama for, BTW, and one which he tried to have eliminated). (Gee, isn’t that conveeeeenient?) Apparently, a major disagreement over the conduct of the upcoming census was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess Sen. Gregg wanted to politicize the Census Bureau much the way Bradley Schlozman and Monica Goodling did with the Bush Just Us Department, and when he found out that Obama wouldn’t let him, he said “Fuck you!” and took off.

*Sigh*

So typical of Rethuglicans these days.

A real paragon of balance and reservedness, that one:

In one email, Schlozman wrote, “I can assure you that [applicant] is a good American. [We] made up a four-member Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy at my former law firm.”

In another, “I have an interview at 1 with some lefty who we’ll never hire but I’m extending a courtesy interview as a favor.”

Schlozman’s racism was also on view in one email that described an applicant with a magna cum laude degree from a top law school as “an idiot … an affirmative action thing … wrote in ebonics.”

And Schlozman cheerfully forwarded to another employee an email he had received from the chief of the voting rights division, saying he liked his coffee “Mary Frances Berry style — black and bitter,” a reference to the longtime head of the Civil Rights Commission. Schlozman’s comment was, “Y’all will appreciate Tanner’s response.”

[…]

“Perhaps the Division will name an award for me or something,” Schlozman wrote when he departed in 2006 to become the US Attorney in Missouri. “How about the Brad Schlozman Award for Most Effectively Breaking the Will of Liberal Partisan Bureaucrats.” [That doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, does it? — Ed.]

What a charming guy. And yet, there’s more where that came from:

In a footnote on page 21 of the report, Schlozman writes a friend contrasting his job as U.S. Attorney with his position in the Civil Rights Division. “I too get to work with mold spores,” he writes. “But here in Civil Rights, we call them Voting Section Attorneys.”

Tell us how you really feel, Schlozenschlong Dingleberry.

It’s official: Al Franken will be the next junior Senator from Minnesota. This just goes to show that when you count all the votes, Democrats win. Which probably explains this:

Thus, I come to bury Caesar Paul Weyrich, not to praise him:

* Julius Caesar, Act 3 Scene 2 (from the “Firends, Romans, countrymen” soliloquy)

A couple of articles for your consideration:

Catholic bishops plan to forcefully confront Obama

Catholic bishops cut all funding to ACORN

It’s official. The Catholic Church, and especially the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, are now the Gestapo arm of the Republican Party.

Time to revoke their tax-exempt status, at a minimum.

But since they’re Republicans, we know what the response of the “librul” media will be: Nothing to see here Citizens, move along. Only Democrats Commit Voter Fraud™.

Republican Felon #1 is Mark Jacoby, owner of a California voter registration firm. Jacoby was recently arrested because his firm was caught duping Democratic voters into changing their registrations to Republican by falsely presenting the registration change as a petition for tougher laws against child molesters. People like Mark Foley. Whoops.

Republican Felon(s) #2 — the Young Republicans of Greene County, Ohio. These Emmy award-winners decided that if ACORN could get away with the crime of legally registering poor and minority voters, they ought to be able to get away with illegally getting their buddies in other states to register and apply for absentee ballots. Not only is this patently illegal (whereas what ACORN does is not), but there is a racial overtone to the GCYRs actions, as Greene County is home to two major historically black colleges — Central State University and Wilberforce University and Seminary. Nice. Way to stay KKKlassy, GCYRs!