JABbering Stooge

Randy Scheunemann, John McCain’s senior foreign policy advisor and bought-and-paid-for Georgia lobbyist, helping the terrorists.

Read Ian Welsh’s post at Firedoglake about the folly of admitting Georgia to NATO. Thanks to Bush and McRove (and McRove’s bought-and-paid-for Georgia lobbyist Randy Scheunemann), Condi’s alleged Russia expertise has suddenly become relevant again. The Cold War’s back on, baby!

Well, if we’re going to go all retro on foreign policy, then we may as well revive this classic of Cold War-era ridiculousness.

Famous last words. And yet that seems to be what Condi was saying when she refused to rule out giving soon-to-be-former Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf. We all know how well giving a Middle Eastern dictator asylum worked out the last time it was tried…

Stalkin’ Malkin strikes again!

Scroll down for updates…3:42pm Eastern… Message received? Fox: “Several sources at the RNC told FOX News that in the last 36 hours, senior McCain advisers and aides have told RNC officials that McCain ‘got the message’ last week that choosing a running mate who supports abortion rights would not be helpful.” Don’t exhale yet.

*SNERK!*

Aren’t you glad the adults are in charge?

Didn’t we already go through this on Tuesday? Yes, we did. Well, over at ClownHall, John Hawkins now takes his shot at stereotyping liberals. So here’s my trenchant rebuttal:

I’m referring, of course, to Attorney General Michael Mukasey, who once again refuses to do his fucking job:

In a speech today before the American Bar Association (ABA), Mukasey was more explicit in his rejection of any sort of review or prosecution, saying that the “negative publicity” they faced was enough:

• That does not mean, as some people have suggested, that those officials who were found by the joint reports to have committed misconduct have suffered no consequences. Far from it. The officials most directly implicated in the misconduct left the Department to the accompaniment of substantial negative publicity. … To put it in concrete terms, I doubt that anyone in this room would want to trade places with any of those people.

Worse, he tries to weasel out of one of the basic requirements of his job by saying that violations of civil service laws are not crimes:

I am well aware that some people have called on me and on the Department to take even more drastic steps than those I have described. For example, some commentators have suggested that we should criminally prosecute the people found in the reports to have committed misconduct. Where there is evidence of criminal wrongdoing, we vigorously investigate it. And where there is enough evidence to charge someone with a crime, we vigorously prosecute. But not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime. In this instance, the two joint reports found only violations of the civil service laws.

Excuse me, Mr. Mukasey, but aren’t you the Attorney General? The nation’s chief law-enforcement officer? Shouldn’t you be prosecuting all crimes? Aren’t all violations of the law — even “minor” civil service laws — by definition crimes? Oh, wait. I forgot. Under the new rules, only laws violated by someone with a “D” after his/her name are crimes.

I’m not a lawyer, but doesn’t this make Mukasey guilty of conspiracy to cover up a crime?

Why does President Bush hate the troops?

Can we be absolutely sure that Michele Bachmann isn’t some liberal plant designed to make conservatives look even more batshit crazy than they already are?

* Cf.

College Classes for Conservatives to Avoid

• If you’re a Good Conservative™, you’ll want to avoid classes in women’s studies, modern biology, world history…actually, you’ll just want to avoid college altogether. Book learning is a communist plot to sap our precious bodily fluids, don’cha know.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Seriously, Cokie? A word of advice:

When you’re in a hole, STOP DIGGING!

Oh, and one other thing: STICK IT.

That is all.