JABbering Stooge

Dick Vader emerged from his undisclosed location today to engage in some blatant hypocrisy:

Vice President Cheney charged Sunday morning on CNN that President Obama is using the recession “to try to justify” what is probably the largest expansion of federal authority “in the history of the Republic.”

You’re the authority, Mr. Personal Assassination Squad.

Plato once said that for everything that exists, there is a perfect form of it somewhere. A perfect human being, a perfect chair, a perfect stick, so that everything is a shadow of that one perfect form. Now, if we follow that train of thought, that means that somewhere in the universe there exists the perfect form of the perfect absolute and complete idiot and he left here an hour four hours ago.

Capt. Matthew Gideon, Babylon 5: Crusade, “The Rules of the Game”

*Ahem*:

I told you last month that Weather Underground terrorist Bill Ayers was invited to speak at Florida State University. The FSU president defended the idea by asserting: “Danger lies not in some speaker’s ideas. Danger lies in teaching students that ideas they don’t agree with are not important.”

Sadly, but predictably, conservative ideas with which liberals on FSU’s campus disagree were not important enough to allow within Bill Ayers’ earshot. At the event earlier this week, students and other protesters who objected to Ayers’ speech were hauled off to a separate “free speech zone” to protect Ayers’ supporters from being subjected to dissent.

Stalkin’ Malkin IS Blamey Whinehouse!*

Incidentally, Michelle, where were you when the Bush Administration was cordoning protesters off into “First Amendment Zones” several miles BVR? Even The American Conservative railed against the concept of “First Amendment Zones”. And when The American Conservative has more principles than…well, never mind. That’s a rather low bar. A $20 whore has more principles than Michelle Malkin.**

* With apologies to John Stewart and the fine folks at The Daily Show.

** Now watch as Malkin screams “RAAAAAAAAAACIIIIST!” over me comparing her to a prostitute.

As a follow-on to Amanda’s post, a day in the life of a member of the Discovery Institute, Institute for Creation Research, Heritage Foundation, Cato Institute, American Family Association, Focus on the Family Anus, or any of a number of conservative “think tanks” (*WHAP!* OW!):

I just about died laughing when I read this:

If all this seems very unfair, consider that right wingers have to be handicapped because they fall so far behind in the logic, reality, and compassion departments. Honestly, letting liberals talk at all when they have such a huge advantage when it comes to basic reason seems deeply unfair.

Indeed. But be sure to read the whole thing.

Sidebar: I just had a thought. (I know, heretical to our conservative overlords, but there it is.) Far too many of the Democrats — you know, the people we elected because they were supposed to be DIFFERENT from the Republicans — give too much credence to this conservative complaint. Even though they now have control of the executive and legislative branches of government. It would certainly explain why they keep pissing their pants whenever a conservative glares at them.

Via The Huffington Post:

Al Qaeda Condemns "Unfair" Pro-Obama Press Bias

Global reactions to Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri’s controversial condemnation of U.S. President-Elect Barack Obama as a "House Slave" (or, alternatively, "House Negro") have begun to pour in — including via the top jihad web forums used by Al-Qaida to disseminate its propaganda. Though hardcore Al-Qaida supporters have predictably dismissed any criticism of Dr. al-Zawahiri and are fiercely backing his choice of words, there is a rather ironic (if not entirely unfamiliar) twist to this issue. After observing international press reporting on the incident, these same supporters are now bitterly attacking the media for its "unfair" pro-Obama bias and for deliberately "confusing" the meaning of al-Zawahiri’s message.

Why is the GOP helping the terrorists?

(h/t, JJ)

Michelle MalKKKin on the anti-Prop. H8 protests:

They’ve marched in Los Angeles. They’re targeting the Mormon Church in Salt Lake City. And they’re threatening to burn down churches and hunt down people of faith who supported the ballot measure:

• Decisions by voters in Florida, Arizona and California to join residents of 27 other states with constitutional protections for traditional marriage have prompted threats of violence against Christians and their churches.

  “Burn their f—ing churches to the ground, and then tax the charred timbers,” wrote “World O Jeff” on the JoeMyGod blogspot today within hours of California officials declaring Proposition 8 had been approved by a margin of 52 percent to 48 percent. Confirmation on voter approval of amendments in Florida and Arizona came earlier.

  The amendments in all three states essentially limit marriage to one man and one woman. In California, the measure states the only marriages “valid and recognized” in the state are those between one man and one woman.

  Thirty states now have adopted marriage amendments. However, in California, the vitriol appeared especially high since the state Supreme Court in May created same-sex marriage for homosexuals. Proposition 8 overruled the court decision, readopting the marriage definition California voters adopted in 2000.

  On a blog website, “Tread” wrote, “I hope the No on 8 people have a long list and long knives.”

  Another contributor to the JoeMyGod website said, “While financially I supported the Vote No, and was vocal to everyone and anyone who would listen, I have never considered being a violent radical extremist for our equal rights. But now I think maybe I should consider becoming one. Perhaps that is the only thing that will affect the change we so desperately need and deserve.”

  A contributor identifying himself as “Joe” said, “I swear, I’d murder people with my bare hands this morning.”

[…]

But don’t expect to read any condemnations of this insane rage on the NYT front page…

Oh, yes. Only gays are frothing-at-the-mouth rage-a-holics.

Wait, what’s this?

On November 7th, 2008 at 10:58 am, SoCal said:
I think a conservative dictator may be the only way out of this mess… the election process is not the answer anymore.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:00 am, expat said:
Unfreaking believable! Did anyone check the status of the lawyer who filed? How about the status of the good people that work at Arizona’s Hispanic Bar Association, (known as Los Abogados)? The answer to my questions might be enlightening.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:01 am, rplatt said:
This is only the beginning…the last election negated all of our constitutional liberties. Thank you voters, you are rally a bunch of brilliant people.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:09 am, rocketman said:
Another “politically correct” (read stupid!) failure to call a spade a spade–using the old bridge term. Kindov like calling a debate on the 50 million plus dead “fetus’s” (read babies!) a “choice” (read abortion!) issue. Kindof like picking vanilla over chocolate ice cream. Nothing of importance being discussed here!

Call them like you see them–like Michelle Malkin does. Welcome to the new U.S.S.A–brought to you by the “liberals” (read “stupids”–or “tontos”) if you prefer it in Espanol.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:09 am, jt3151 said:
I’m going back to “wetbacks”.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:25 am, FruNobulux said:
Wasn’t it Plato who said something to the effect that “Governments carry their basic principles to excess….In a democracy the list of ‘rights’ grows until even domesticated animals stand on their hind legs demanding their rights. Before long, the people will be willing to give it all up to anyone who can restore order.”

A dictator is due soon. I sometimes think we just elected him, but on the other hand, I think his social agenda is the recipe for more chaos, and may be his ultimate undoing.

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 11:33 am, hawkeye54 said:

• “convicted felons, fugitives, and immigration violators“?

Democrat voting blocs

[…]

On November 7th, 2008 at 1:17 pm, hawkeye54 said:

• Wouldn’t it be great if conservatives could actually meet out in the real world, and not just anonymously on a web page?

  Have a HUGE rally like the liberals did.

And make it easier for the geheime Staatspolizei Obama’s Civilian Security Force to round us up for the re-education camps?

Yeah, I thought so.

But don’t expect to read any condemnations of this Radio Rwanda rebroadcast on Stalkin’ Malkin’s front page…

Suspicious powder found at New York Times building. No word yet as to whether or not Melanie Morgan’s fingerprints were found on the envelope.

Seriously, what is it about fake anthrax that makes it the favored tactic of conservative terrorists these days?

Another McCain/Palin supporter tells us how he really feels.

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!*

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

* Cf.

Rep. Wilson,

I was shocked and appalled at your comments on Face the Nation this weekend. For committing the thoughtcrime of criticizing The Most Holy George W. Christ The Infallible, you essentially called the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States a traitor.

A traitor, Rep. Wilson. If I may be so bold as to paraphrase the late Joseph Welch, have you no sense of decency, ma’am, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

I don’t know what twisted notion of patriotism you adhere to, but it sure as heck isn’t mine. Nor, I would humbly suggest, is it Theodore Roosevelt’s. At the height of World War I, the former President had this to say about dissent in an op-ed in the Kansas City Star:

To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.

Tell me, Rep. Wilson, would YOU call the 26th President a traitor? Can you honestly say that? No? Then why the hell is it okay for you to casually fling around baseless charges of treason like a dog chewing up a sofa cushion?

I and those who think like me have spent the last eight years having our patriotism questioned at every single turn by fascist thugs like you, and I for one am sick and tired of it. Frankly, your remarks struck me as confirmation of what Hermann Goering once told his interrogator, Gustave Gilbert, as he faced a war crimes tribunal for his role in Hitler’s murderous regime:

Why, of course, the people don’t want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.

[…]

[V]oice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.

Joseph Goebbels would be proud of you, Rep. Wilson.