JABbering Stooge

Just got back from the dentist’s office, all gauzed-up and loopy from the oxycontin. (Now I know what it’s like to be Pillz-E.) Just some thoughts.

• Can we file an IRS complaint against the California Mormon Church?

• Wow, that’s some seriously juicy post-election gossip!

• Is it just me, or was Pillz-E in full tinfoil hat mode yesterday? Holy crap, Rush! If anything, it’s you conservatives who are likely to abuse the Fairness Doctrine by filing billions of frivolous complaints with the Federal Censorship Commission against any news outlet that dares report the liberally-biased reality — which in your eyes would be every news outlet except Fux "News".

• Michelle MalKKKin flips out over an Arizona judge banning the use of "illegal" and "aliens" in an immigration controversy. Where was she when a judge in Nebraska banned the use of "rape" and "sexual assault" in a rape case?

• Buried in all the euphoria over Obama’s win on Tuesday night is the news that assistant ICE chief Julie Myers has suddenly put in her two-weeks’ notice. Gee, I wonder why that could be.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this cartoon by Tom Toles about the real purpose of Prop. 8:

I’m guessing it’ll be the cages for homosexuals.

Sidebar: I’m starting the War on Christmas early,so sue me…

Three US states reject same-sex marriage

The Damnation Song (Sung to the tune of “God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen”)

God damn you homosexuals!
How dare you act so gay!
And what you do and say,
And where you put your penises—
Thank God, we’re not that way!
We do not like the things you do in bed—
You do in bed—
We don’t like those things, so you can never wed!

Alternate Shorter:

White Christians (sung to the tune of “White Christmas”)

My favorite folks are white Christians
Who don’t give Democrats a break.
The God we believe in
Says, “Kill the heathen
And burn witches at the stake!”

My favorite folks are white Christians
Who won’t put up with any vice.
Guys like Dick Cheney are nice
And tokens like Condoleeza Rice!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

In spite of all of this:

We got this:

So celebrate tonight, America! You’ve earned it.

Sidebar: About the only real bummer from tonight is that we’ll still have Michelle “Daughter of McCarthy” Bachmann, John Cornyn and (maybe) Norm Coleman to kick around. Bully.

Notice the new category? Yeah. I did it in “honor” of Bill-O The Clown.

Anyway, I’m going to be putting a couple of MSNBC widgets in this post so that you can track the election in real time. Should be fun. I’m going to be heading to Drinking Liberally in about an hour to watch the election returns there. We can only hope that it’ll be many happy returns, indeed.

Here’s the national results:

And here’s the results for Texas:

If for some reason you haven’t done so yet, get out and vote like your life depends on it!

And if you do go to vote today, for Zombie Jesus’ sake, check your car for sabotage! Our friends in the Great White North had some incidents last month with Liberal Party of Canada supporters finding brake lines cut, among other things. Don’t think the fascists here in the States haven’t seen that. They probably have, and almost certainly are desperate enough to try it.

From the zygote zealots at something called Catholic Insight:

Election of Obama would be a disaster

Love that wingnutty flop sweat-induced rending of garments and gnashing of teeth! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Even better is the title of the post *ahem* reproducing the editorial over at Canadian fetus fetishist Suzie-All-Caps’ place:

Obama a threat to the world says Catholic Insight

Wow! He’s not just a threat to the "sweet, innocent babies" (and to hell with the state-owned ambulatory incubators they’re attached to), but the entire world!

That’s some pure, unadulterated wingnut hyperbole, there! Whoo-wee!

Because I just had to do it:

I can’t help but be amused by the blatant hypocrisy of conservatives. Facing the prospect of an Obama presidency, they shriek about the evils of “one-party rule.” It’s like you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one denunciation after another of the dreaded triumvirate of Obama, Reid and Pelosi.

Funny how they didn’t seem to mind so much when the one-party troika consisted of George W. Bush, Tom DeLay and Trent Lott.

So, what do you think the odds are that the local fishwrap will send my letter straight into the circular file?

* Letters To The Editor

A fake trailer for a fake movie about a Palin presidency:

Tonight’s Cafferty File:

Sidebar: Umm…Yeah. CNN’s video embeds SUCK.

Via ABC News: "Neo-Nazi Plot One of ‘A Handful’ of ‘Serious’ Threats Against Obama"

The officials say Obama has been the target of well over 500 threats, most of which are not taken seriously.

[…]

Officials say there have been far fewer threats against Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain.

Gee, I wonder why.