JABbering Stooge

TS is on point.

Just when you thought that Muslim and Christian fundies had bogarted all the misogyny and terrorism in the world, along come the Israeli Orthodox Jewish fundies*:

Modesty patrol’s violence widens Israeli religious rift

JERUSALEM — In Israel’s ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where the rule of law sometimes takes a back seat to the rule of God, zealots are on a campaign to stamp out behavior they consider unchaste. They hurl stones at women for such “sins” as wearing a red blouse, and attack stores selling devices that can access the Internet.

In recent weeks, self-styled “modesty patrols” have been accused of breaking into the apartment of a Jerusalem woman and beating her for allegedly consorting with men. They have torched a store that sells MP4 players, fearing devout Jews would use them to download pornography.

“These breaches of purity and modesty endanger our community,” said 38-year-old Elchanan Blau, defending the bearded, black-robed zealots. [Yeah, and it saps your precious bodily fluids, too! — Ed.] “If it takes fire to get them to stop, then so be it.”

I’ve long suspected that, as the joke goes, the only reason Christian fundies hate Muslims is that they’re jealous that Muslims invented the burqa. Now it appears that these Haredi mamzerim want to join in on the fun hate.

All the more reason to go see Religulous.

* Sadly, the only recent source for this story is from the Associated Wankers. If you have a link for this story that’s not a month old and not from the Associated Wankers, feel free to contribute it in the comments.

Is it just me, or does Pillz-E resemble Albedo from Xenosaga when he calls Michelle Obama “My Belle”?

Obamacide

• If that scaryblackman closet-Muslim/extremist-Christian Barack Hussein Obama gets elected president, he will personally perform retroactive abortions on the children of all Real ‘Murkins™. Oh, and did I mention that he’s a scaryblackman? Vote McCain ‘08 — he’s not a scaryblackman!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Well, well, well. It looks like reality still has a liberal bias:

A new two-year study by the American Psychological Association (APA) finds that women “who choose to abort an unwanted pregnancy may experience feelings of grief and loss, but there is no evidence that a single abortion causes significant mental health problems.” From the APA’s press release:

• “The best scientific evidence published indicates that among adult women who have an unplanned pregnancy, the relative risk of mental health problems is no greater if they have a single elective first-trimester abortion or deliver that pregnancy,” said Brenda Major, PhD, chair of the task force. “The evidence regarding the relative mental health risks associated with multiple abortions is more uncertain.”

Naturally, the fetus fetishists are up in arms over the decision. Lifesitenews.com, one of the sites that was enthusiastically pimping the Massive Poll™®© conducted by astroturf company KLR Vu, even goes so far as to make the laughable claim that the APA violated its own ethics standard. But then, what do you expect from a group that had previously written off the APA as a tool of the Homosexual Agenda™©® when the APA rescinded its previous ruling that homosexuality is a mental disorder?

Ah, the things confirmation bias will do to you.

* I think you know the one…

Thrice-divorced oxycontin junkie Rush “I learned all I need to know about women from my cat” Limbaugh opines on Sen. Edwards’ infidelity:

Ladies and gentleman, my theory that I just explained to you about why — you know, what could have John Edwards’ motivations been to have the affair with Rielle Hunter, given his wife is smarter than he is and probably nagging him a lot about doing this, and he found somebody that did something with her mouth other than talk.

I guess now we know why Pillz-E’s always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Limbaugh.

* With apologies to John Landis.

College Classes for Conservatives to Avoid

• If you’re a Good Conservative™, you’ll want to avoid classes in women’s studies, modern biology, world history…actually, you’ll just want to avoid college altogether. Book learning is a communist plot to sap our precious bodily fluids, don’cha know.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Catholics for Obama?

• Abortion is a war crime even worse than slavery and genocide COMBINED! Executing [plural n-word] for posessing 0.01 μg of chronic and random slaughter of the [ethnic slur for Muslims/Arabs] inhabiting a country that didn’t attack us? That’s a modern sacrament!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Sidebar: JJ, is this yours?

It’s been rather amusing to watch Canadian wingnuts’ reaction to the decision to award the Order of Canada to Canadian abortion-rights activist Dr. Henry Morgentaler. The first wave of protest occurred when wingnut OoC recipients (and wingnut relatives of OoC recipients), in a move reeking of that classic combination of childish petulance and navel-gazing fecklessness that has come to characterize today’s conservative movement, sent back their Order of Canada medals. When that didn’t work, they tried a postcard campaign and an online petition. Sadly, Lucy took away that football*, too.

All of this culminated in the Massive Poll™©® conducted by KLR Vu, an astroturf company, which definitively “proved” that Canadians think Morgentaler should burn in Hell 42% of all statistics are made up. Before the week was out, the poll (and the company that conducted it) were so discredited that even anti-abortion talk radio hosts in Canada were criticizing it.

But in spite of all of this, Canada’s wingnut bloggers continue to insist that somehow all of this proves that Morgentaler is a Very Bad Man™. You might even say that they suffer from Morgentaler Derangement Syndrome.

Which brings me to the point of my post. Canadian Cynic, who has fast become one of my favorite Canadabloggers, brings us this bit of pearl-clutching inanity from someone referring to herself as “NB Tory Lady”:

One day last year, I think it was, as I passed a certain downtown location, I came upon people placed within a foot of one another showing various types of fetus’ that had been aborted. It was very graphic. It should have clicked with me then that there was an abortion clinic about. Now I see there is an abortion clinic in Fredericton. A private one. They have been asking our New Brunswick Government for funding.—[they are a private clinic…WHY DO THEY NEED GOVERNMENT FUNDING?] I am pleased to read that the New Brunswick Government has resisted this demand so far.

But NB, aren’t you and your fellow Gilead Republicans always telling us how abortion is a multi-gazillion dollar “industry”? It’s kinda hard to make money on the order of Slixxon-Mobil when your costs include security, the procedure itself, pre- and post-op counseling, etc., etc. etc.

And speaking of security, notice in the original post how NB Tory Lady is so generous as to include a picture of the clinic in question? Anything to give the Eric Rudolph Fan Club easy access to a new target, eh, NB? Classy!

But wait, there’s more!

More communication needed and more eduction put out there on this subject. Is it too much to ask the various parties to take precautions before sex?
This would be very acceptable and wise. I expect there are lots of places to find free birth control? Does anyone know?

No one would know how or where to get birth control, if you and your fellow fetus fetishists have their way, NB. With abstinence-only classes the rule, rather than the exception here in good ol’ ‘Murka, it is too much to ask that “various parties” take precautions. And if Canada catches our cold, it will be “too much to ask” there, too. Here’s a hint: if you think that drinking bleach prevents HIV or that Mountain Dew is a spermicide, you might be a product of “abstinence-only” education.

* Cf.

Proving George Carlin’s point about anti-choicers…

One Brave Judge Resists Feminist Agenda

• Finally — a non-activist non-evil non-librul judge agrees with me that rapists should have more rights than the women they “allegedly” rape! (Hey, she was askin’ for it, the slut!)

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™