JABbering Stooge

Following on my previous post, Chris Matthews stops being a right-wing tool long enough to smack down Eyes Bishop Thomas Tobin…HARD!

Oh, it is a thing of beauty, is it not?

Fair enough! HA!

MUSIC TO MY EARS: When you’ve made professional outrage maven Bill Donohue lose control of his sphincter, you know you’ve done your job!

HA!

U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
CNN Host Had Been Living Illegally In Country Since 1961

WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.

According to the Department of Homeland Security, federal agents stormed the undocumented immigrant’s home in an evening raid just hours after the 64-year-old newscaster suddenly announced that he was resigning from CNN, and immediately placed him on an Aeromexico flight departing from Newark Liberty Airport.

Damn, I love The Onion, don’t you?

Over at the GOS, Bill in Portland, ME posts some must read hilarity:

Channel surfing: Yesterday

• “Welcome to the Today Show. This morning: Sarah Palin’s new book…”

  [click]

  “Oh Joe!” “Oh Mika!” “Oh Joe!” “Oh Mika!” “Let’s talk about Sarah Palin’s new book, Joe, and how much Obama sucks!” “Great idea, Mika…”

  [Click]

  “Our round-the-clock coverage of Sarah Palin’s new book continues on Fox News with amazing new details on how Steve Schmidt paid housekeeping staffs to short-sheet her hotel-room beds…”

  [Click!]

  “Headline News has just learned that there are, in fact, five chapters in Sarah Palin’s new book. Five, count ‘em, five. One two three four five. Or try it backwards, five four three t…”

  [Click!!]

  “CNN breaking news at this hour: we have just learned that Sarah Palin’s new book still has no index! Let’s go live to…”

  [CLICK!]

  “And in local news, some Portland residents say they may buy Sarah Palin’s new book, but others say they might not. Our eyewitness team coverage begins with…”

  [CLICK!!!]

  “Welcome back to Hardball. A tingle is running up my leg with the release of…”

  [CLICK!!!!]

  “Coming up on The History Channel: Could World War II have been averted if Neville Chamberlain had read Sarah Palin’s new book? A panel of experts says…”

  [CLICK!!!!!!]

  “I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat: Sarah…Palin’s…New…”

  [CLICK!!!!!!!!!]

For Sale: 1 slightly used TV. Comes with size 8 1/2 shoe embedded. Serious offers only, please.

Dr. Sagan would’ve been 75 today had he lived.

How is it that a comedian who hosts a fake news show is more of a journalist than the “real” journalists?

Drifty is once again en fuego for bringing us this musing about Sarah Palin criticizing the president from Hong Kong:

Second, as all of you who escaped our nation’s 25-year-long Conservative prefrontal Limbaughtomy remember, six short years ago when a singer blurted out 15 unprepared words dissing George W. Bush at a concert in London (or, as wingnuts always ominously intone “On Foreign Soil!”), the Right absolutely lost its collective shit.

There were marches. Vigils. Coast-to-coast Hate Radio rants. A virtual embargo on playing the music of “The Dixie Chicks” anywhere in this Home of the Brave.

It was pretty much this…

Hell, they made a movie about it and everything:

Or don’t you remember?

But now, of course, everything has changed.

Now the White, Conservative, Southern, Evangelical, Republican imbecile failure is out of the White House.

Now the smart, Black, Centrist Democrat Secret Muslim Communist is in the White House.

Exactly. The new rule on the right goes something like this:

• What? A popular all-female country band criticized a warmongering Republican president while they were on the soil of an ostensible ally? BURN THE WITCHES!

• What? A moronic ex-governor who quit halfway through her first term criticized the first African-American president for trying to clean up the mess his predecessor left while she was on commie soil? Who cares? We have bigger worries, like whether or not ACORN is fluoridating our water in order to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids!

The latest masterpiece from Funny or Die:

Humor, with a purpose. Imagine that! (Bonus: Hiro Nakamura Masi Oka gets a couple of lines!)

The irrepressible TBogg, on the latest outbreak of ACORN Derangement Syndrome:

If ACORN had just slaughtered a bunch of Muslims in the street, instead of giving advice to fake pimps, they’d still be eligible for some of that sweet sweet government moolah.

Over at The Grist, David Roberts explains why now-former Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation Van Jones is not the scary bogeyman that Glenn Beck makes him out to be. The rest of the piece is a good, serious read, but I could help but laugh at this line:

A while back I lampooned a Glenn Beck segment on Van Jones, who’s an advisor to the White House Council on Environmental Quality. According to Beck, Jones is the man on the inside for a vast cryptosocialist conspiracy involving the Apollo Alliance, Color of Change, the Center for American Progress, George Soros, ACORN, Al Queda, and the Trilateral Commission. Everything that goes bump in Beck’s closet at night.

Back then I still thought the Gomer Pyle meets Father Coughlin shtick was harmless, too clownish to be taken seriously. Ah, those innocent days before the nation was locked in a room with frantic teabaggers.

Thanks, Dave. After Glenn Beck’s high-tech lynching of Van Jones, I needed some levity.

Sidebar: I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Glenn Beck’s petulant revenge fantasy has eerie parallels with Bill O’Reilly’s jihad against Dr. George Tiller. While the scalp claimed by Beck was fortunately metaphorical rather than literal, we’ve already seen how quickly right-wing lunacy can spiral into violence. And it’s just going to get worse the more Obama caves to the lunatic fringe.

I’ve made comments to this effect a couple of times over at JJ’s place, but between this video and all the unhinged bullshit coming from the right lately, I’m just about ready to look for employment north of the 49th parallel.