JABbering Stooge

You know, I’ve had op-eds rejected by newspaper editors. And while I may have vociferously disagreed with the reason(s) for the rejections, I’ve never whined that such refusals signify a vast conspiracy to silence me on behalf of an opposing ideology.

John McCain and the right-wing blogger freakshow supporting him need to grow the fuck up.

I don’t think “time horizon” means what Bush thinks it means:

A time horizon, also known as a planning horizon, is a fixed point of time in the future at which point certain processes will be evaluated or assumed to end.

Time horizon entry on Wikipedia

* Cf.

Neal Boortz cites an Austin Hill piece over at America’s Second-Shittiest Website™ in order to channel the Doughy Pantload on the possibility of an Obama defeat in November.

Yeah. It’s that bad.

I was on my way into work this morning, and I heard KLBJ recycling a month-old “Morning Update” from Pillz-E:

But don’t let that happy science talk fool you. Critics warn that turning this thing on might lead to an Armageddon-type disaster! The collider could spawn a black hole, which would swallow up the whole Earf. Poof! We’re gone. Or it could release particles that could melt the planet and us, of course, right along with it.

The collider-science guys dismiss these predictions but [the “doomsday” predictions are] not being made by your run-of-the-mill kooks. One critic, Walter L. Wagner, a lawyer and a physicist, has filed a lawsuit here in the States to stop this thing before it’s too late. He says there’s a “significant risk” that there might be “unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet.”

Yep. You heard him correctly, folks. Never mind the professional scientists, people who actually know what the hell they’re talking about, they’re a bunch of incompetent boobs who will kill us all! I guess Limbaugh would have a natural home with the anti-vaccination kooks. Maybe he can join the Savage Weiner in smacking around autistic children.

Chris Wallace.

Sidebar: You’d think these conservatives hadn’t graduated from kindergarten with the way they argue.

John McCain.

Shorter Bushite Health and Human Services Department:

HHS Moves to Define Contraception as Abortion

• In order to prevent discrimination against lunatic theocrats poor, persecuted Christians, we have to discriminate against innocent women desperately seeking basic reproductive health services!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Diplomas won’t make jihadis go away, Barack

• Hamas’ favorite candidate, B. Hussein Osama, is too stupid to realize that the only good Muslim is a Muslim who has been stuffed into a human-sized microwave.

Alternate shorter:

Sun Tzu? What a pussy!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Last Thursday over at America’s Shittiest Website™, where the motto is “The World’s Leading Source of Groupthink Since 1955,” they were actually having *gasp!* a genuine, heated debate! Quelle horreur!! The subject? Whether or not Bill Donohue was right to go apeshit on P.Z. Myers over “Crackergate.”

For the most part, the “debate” featured Andrew Stuttaford worrying that Donohue was replicating the “horrors” of campus speech codes on one side, and larger-than-life Kathryn Jean Lopez writing love letters to Donohue on the other side (when she wasn’t outright threatening violence against Dr. Myers, that is). At a couple of points in the “debate,” the Doughy Pantload scratches his crotch, farts, and then belches tepid support for K-Lo’s “position” (assuming she can be said to have a position other than on her knees in front of Donohue). Sadly, the reparteé only lasts about five hours before the gang goes back to what they do best: declaring that Jesse Jackson’s off-camera comments about wanting to castrate Obama only prove that Obama should be kept as far away from the Big Red Button™ as humanly possible.

Nevertheless, K-Lo manages to get in the last word. And what a doozy it is! Check it out:

There are many words I can think of to describe Bill — victim is not one of them. He’s protecting, and fighting for, that which he loves. And he’s doing it fairly. [He’s not. He’s blatantly lying about Myers to make his point. — Ed.] He’s not abusing our legal system. [Wrong. He’s trying to get the Minnesota legislature to punish Myers by legal fiat — an abuse of the legal system by any standard except, apparently, the standard of NRO. — Ed.] He’s not begging for special treatment from the government or anyone else. [He is. You don’t exactly see him blowing his stack over maltreatment of Muslims at American universities, do you? — Ed.] He’s certainly not rioting in the streets are calling for violence. [Not yet, but given his recent history, it won’t be long now. — Ed.] It’s a refreshing thing to see.

The pathological blindness is just overwhelming. But it’s just par for the course for K-Lo. As a commenter at Snarky Bastards put it:

[E]veryone has behaved almost entirely to form:

• Bill Donahue has whined and bitched and tried to get people fired.

• PZ Myers has acted like a complete asshole.

• Kathryn Lopez has written something embarrassingly stupid.

Seriously, guys. Call me back when man bites dog.

That she has.

Sully on “Crackergate”:

It is one thing to engage in free, if disrespectful, debate. It is another to repeatedly assault and ridicule and abuse something that is deeply sacred to a great many people. Calling the Holy Eucharist a “goddamned cracker” isn’t about free speech; it’s really about some baseline civility. Myers’ rant is the rant of an anti-Catholic bigot. And atheists and agnostics can be bigots too.

So, you’re saying that because PZ worded his criticism of Bill Donohue’s pea-soup spewage fit in a way that offends you, it’s okay for Donohue’s flying monkey brigade to send him death threats? That’s contemptible, and it’s the sort of thinking that fills graveyards.*

Perhaps, Andrew, it’s time you gave yourself a Michelle Malkin Award.

* With apologies to David Eddings.