JABbering Stooge

You stay KKKlassy, Robert Lowry.

That was the sound of millions of wingnut heads exploding at the news that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is good news for the Republicans, sayeth the Village Idiots™.

* Cf.

Un-frackin’-believable:

On Nov. 1, a law in Oklahoma will go into effect that will collect personal details about every single abortion performed in the state and post them on a public website. Implementing the measure will “cost $281,285 the first year and $256,285 each subsequent year.” Here are the first eight questions that women will have to reveal:

1. Date of abortion [So we can update our sexcrime statistics, eh? — Ed.]

2. County in which abortion performed [All the better to vector in those OK National Guard Black Hawk Helicopters for an attack, amirite? — Ed.]

3. Age of mother [The sooner we can shame little Suzie into “consenting” to FGM keeping her slutty legs closed, the better! — Ed.]

4. Marital status of mother (married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married) [This is so We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma can turn you over to your Commander husband/father for a proper honor killing. — Ed.]

5. Race of mother [We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma are concerned that too many white, Christian women are committing Gender Treason™. If the brown people and Muslims want to abort all their offspring, more power to them! — Ed.]

6. Years of education of mother (specify highest year completed) [The fewer the better, in the eyes of the Oklahoma lege. — Ed.]

7. State or foreign country of residence of mother [See my comment on question 5. — Ed.]

8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
   Live Births
   Miscarriages
   Induced Abortions
   [Because We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma simply MUST know the extent of little Suzie’s string of sexcrimes! We can’t possibly cum mete out proper punishment for her wanton harlotry without it! — Ed.]

*SIGH* The Earth-Shattering Kaboom can’t come fast enough, it seems.

Tragedy strikes twice:

A Pennsylvania woman who drew national attention for carrying a loaded handgun to her daughter’s soccer game has been shot and killed in an apparent murder-suicide, the Lebanon Daily News reports.

Meleanie Hain, 31, of Lebanon, Pa., and her husband, Scott Hain, 33, were found dead after a two-hour standoff with police Wednesday night, the AP reports.

Hain was dubbed the “pistol-packin’ mom” after wearing her holstered 9mm Glock pistol to her 5-year-old daughter’s soccer match in 2008.

[…]

The Lebanon Daily News says Lebanon police Chief Daniel Wright is providing little information aside from acknowledging that both were found dead and that he did not think anyone else was involved. The district attorney likewise refuses comment. The paper quotes several neighbors as saying they heard or saw the couple’s children’s [sic] running from the house screaming, “Daddy shot Mommy!” shortly before the 911 was called.

The paper also quotes one neighbor, Debbie Mise, as saying she feared something bad would eventually happen at the Hain home. “She just wasn’t right,” Mise said of Meleanie Hain, the paper reports. “You don’t bring a gun to a kids’ soccer game, and you don’t wear a gun when you go shopping at Kohl’s.”

<wingnut>If only Melanie Hain had been required by law to purchase an RPG-7, this would never have happened!</wingnut>

Sidebar: Someone at USA Today needs to sit Doug Stanglin down and explain to him that you don’t need to end every single sentence with “[name of source] reports.”

If you missed last night’s hour-long Special Comment (You sad, sad person!), here it is in all its glory:

Amen. If the Rethuglicans manage to kill comprehensive health care reform, well…

“Weep for the future, Na’Toth. Weep for us all.”
— G’Kar, Babylon 5, “Revelations”

Sidebar: My only quibble with the Special Comment (and it’s a very, VERY minor, nit-picky quibble) is that he got the capital of Montana wrong: It’s Helena, not Butte.

…this would be the only type of “art” that could legally be produced. (Yes, I said “legally.”)

The “artist,” Jon McNaughton, is trying to propagate the notion that America is a “Christian Nation™®©,” and that only by ripping the Constitution to shreds and becoming a theocracy can we “get right with Zombie Jesus, as the Founding Fathers intended.” This is basically the radical Christianist right’s version of Piss Christ, only unlike those on the right, I don’t want it censored, I just want to mock it! (That IS still legal, right?)

Shall we?

Yes, Tom Blumer, let’s talk about civility:

Also:

There is a remote, although gaining, possibility America’s military will intervene as a last resort to resolve the “Obama problem.” Don’t dismiss it as unrealistic.

America isn’t the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized. That it has never happened doesn’t mean it wont. Describing what may be afoot is not to advocate it. So, view the following through military eyes:

[…]

Will the day come when patriotic general and flag officers sit down with the president, or with those who control him, and work out the national equivalent of a “family intervention,” with some form of limited, shared responsibility?

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible.

Shorter John L. Perry:

• Look, I’m not advocating a new White House Putsch, even if thinking about it does give me a stiffy. I’m just saying that a Final Solution to the Obama Problem may be necessary.

Sidebar: Seriously, how crazy do you have to be to be too crazy for David Horowitz’s House of Macrowaved* Muslims?

And in other news, T3h Left is a bajillion times more prone to violence than wingnuts because Mike Malloy had the temerity to call out the Reich-wingers on their hardon for Race War v. 12.5 Civil War v. 2.0. Tim Graham said so.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

* Cf.

First the Rockefeller amendment to put a public option into the Max Baucus (D — CIGNA) health care “reform” bill fails by a vote of 15-8.

Then the Schumer amendment to add a (very watered down) public option to the Baucus Baka bill fails by a vote of 13-10.

Can we get some real Democrats in office in 2010? You know, ones who aren’t willing prostitutes for the murder-by-spreadsheet cartel?

Also.

Shorter Longer Phyllis Schlafly:

• Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Huckabee? Children’s ice cream!…You know when fluoridation began?…1792. 1792, Huckabee. How does that coincide with your post-Enlightenment feminazi conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core feminazi works.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

With apologies to Stanley Kubrick and Sterling Hayden.

Shame on you, Ed! You know better than to confuse Sens. Joe Lieberman, Evan Bayh and John Kyl with the facts about what would happen to Iran should they try to nuke Israel!