JABbering Stooge

Why isn’t this man in prison trading cigarettes for his anal virginity?

…to South Austin and Philadelphia.

I must ask once again: How long before this crap becomes violent?

On Sunday my brother and I went over to Mom and Dad’s to have dinner before our weekly pen-and-paper RPG session. While waiting for dinner to finish cooking, I opened the local fishwrap’s editorial section to find this calumny staring me in the face:

Not seeing eye-to-eye with Obama

Ever notice how President Barack Obama exits Marine One? He walks three or four feet past the Marine saluting him before returning the salute. What’s he saluting — his own ego? It’s not the Marine who guards the White House.

It’s customary to hold a salute until one is given back. Must the Marine turn his eyeballs 90 degrees to see if one was given?

Oh, Obama will bow to a Muslim king but not salute a defender of the nation. The man continues to disgrace this country and the true Americans who serve it.

[REDACTED] Ross

Captain, USMC (ret.)

Before I say my piece, Captain Ross, I want to thank you for your service to your country. Far be it from me — a mere civilian whose closest brush with military service was the Air Force JROTC unit at my high school — to dress down someone who likely risked life and limb for his country. Nevertheless, I feel it needs to be said…

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, SOLDIER? With all the shit Bush put your brothers-in-arms through, THIS is your best effort at smearing the new Commander-in-Chief?! If so, that’s just pathetic.

I mean seriously. Bush for sacrificed 4,300+ soldiers on the altar of a personal vendetta. Bush sent our boys into combat without proper body armor or equipment (which Rummy famously played down as “going to war with the army you have, not the army you wish you had”). Bush rewarded Cheney’s cronies at KBR for killing soldiers with their electro-showers. Bush outsourced facilities maintenance at Walter Reed to corrupt corporate cronies who couldn’t be trusted to deliver ice to Hurricane Katrina victims. And we all saw how well that turned out. And to further rub salt in the many wounds those soldiers received in battle, compounded with their horrific treatment at Walter Reed and other veterans’ medical facilities, Bush treated the VA like it was yet another welfare program. Oh yeah, let’s also not forget the effort on the part of the Bushies to underdiagnose PTSD cases and cover it up.

It’s amazing we haven’t seen the rise of another Bonus Army with the shitty way Bush treated the troops. Strangely, you seem to be perfectly willing to forgive him for all of that because he pranced around in a flight suit on the deck of the Abraham Lincoln, dazzling the “librul” media with his magic codpiece. But when Obama makes a minor protocol flub, you all but call for his impeachment.

IN WHAT UNIVERSE DOES THAT MAKE EVEN THE REMOTEST BIT OF SENSE?!

But even if we were to judge Presidents at the superficial level you use to bash Obama, would you be just as critical of Bush for pulling goofy stunts like this

Source: Der Spiegel

and would you be just as critical of Bush for deciding that letting Barney take a shit and getting on Marine One was more important than returning the salute of the Marine at the entrance? Or is that different?

Somehow I suspect I know the answer to that already.

Just in case you were wondering what the police are like in my home state, the fascist thugs known as the Fort Worth Police Department apparently thought the 40^th anniversary of the Stonewall riots was the perfect time to do a re-enactment.

I didn’t either. Apparently, local jeweler Russell Korman discovered something even the FCC doesn’t know.

Northwest Austin Municipal Utility District Number One v. Holder

• Even though the Voting Rights Act of 1965 is a wonderful law that righted wrongs done in keeping African-Americans from voting, it is an unconstitutional anachronism now that racism has been completely and permanently eliminated in America with the election of B. Hussein Osama X The Super Double-Secret Probation Muslim Manchurian Candidate™.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Sidebar: Congratulations, Don Zimmerman. This is your baby. I hope you’re happy.

Reuters:

Religious Slurs Used During Assault on Texas Muslim

WASHINGTON, June 10 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) today called on law enforcement authorities in Texas to investigate an alleged assault on a Muslim in that state as a hate crime.

The alleged victim, a 34-year-old white convert to Islam, reported to CAIR that two former co-workers came to his Gilmer, Texas, home after midnight on Saturday and punched, choked and kicked him without provocation. During the assault, the alleged attackers reportedly used religious slurs such as, “You Muslim piece of sh*t,” “Pray to Allah mother f**ker,” and “You are a traitor … We’re at war with these people.“ At one point during the alleged assault, the victim says he felt the barrel of a gun pressed to his head.

As the attackers left, they allegedly threatened to harm him again if he called the police. He was reportedly told by one assailant, “If I can’t get you, my people will.” The victim has since moved out of his home in response to this threat.

Sundown towns for Muslims. Joy. But that’s not the worst part of this.

The FBI and local police are investigating the incident, but local authorities have not labeled it a hate crime.

More (deliberate?) navel-gazing by the cops. That can’t end well.

And in other news, anti-abortion militancy is apparently on the rise:

I think JJ put it best:

A murderous anti-abortion freak last week, a neo-nazi killer this week — it’s as if every kind of deranged whackjob described in that much-maligned Homeland Security dossier on right-wing extremists are now being trotted out as examples. 52 flavours, try ‘em all.

But no, we’re not allowed to worry about right-wing terrorism.

It seems that Governor Goodhair has decided to steal a page from Caribou Barbie’s playbook:

You don’t suppose that this was some sort of quid pro quo for Bible Spice’s endorsement in the upcoming gubernatorial election, do you?

Shorter Gov. Goodhair:

Rick Perry, After Raising Secession, Calls For Fed Help With Swine Flu

• No, we don’t need no stinkin’ stimulus money — it’ll just go to help those shiftless bums who weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouths! In fact, we’ll secede before we ac— HOLY CRAP! SAVE US, MR. PRESIDENT! GET OFF YOUR LAZY DUFF AND SAVE US FROM THE UNEXPECTED PANDEMIC THAT ANYBODY WITH HALF A BRAIN COULD’VE SEEN COMING A MILE AWAY!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Our psycho governor, ladies and gentlemen:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry fired up an anti-tax “tea party” “teabagging orgy” Wednesday with his stance against the federal government and for states’ rights as some in his U.S. flag-waving audience shouted, “Secede!”

An animated Perry told the crowd at Austin City Hall — one of three tea parties he was attending across the state — that officials in Washington have abandoned the country’s founding principles of limited government. He said the federal government is strangling Americans with taxation, spending and debt.

[…]

Later, answering news reporters’ questions, Perry suggested Texans might at some point get so fed up they would want to secede from the union, though he said he sees no reason why Texas should do that.

“There’s a lot of different scenarios,” Perry said. “We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.” [Yep. You’re so independent that you join 29 other states in legalizing stoning gays banning gay marriage — by a nearly unanimous vote, I might add. You’re so independent that you’ve marched to the polls en masse to vote straight Republican every time since Saint Ronnie The Red Ink Raygun ran for President. — Ed.]

Perry is running for re-election against U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, a fellow Republican. His anti-Washington remarks have become more strident the past few weeks as that 2010 race gets going [I suspect that a primary challenge is not the only reason why Gov. Goodhair has gone Full Metal Psycho. — Ed.] and since Perry rejected $550 million in federal economic stimulus money slated to help Texas’ unemployment trust fund.

*SIGH*