JABbering Stooge

…but President Obama is really a robot spy from the planet Xenu*!

* With apologies to Thom Hartmann.

I know why wingnuts, who constantly slag liberals as “The Blame America First Crowd,” don’t want to remember 9/13. That’s because eight years ago today, two of their own Blamed America First™:

So much for that post-partisan goodwill that sprouted up after 9/11, eh?

I haven’t forgotten The Spirit of 9/11™ — the time in the immediate aftermath of the worst terrorist attack on American soil since the Murrah Federal Building bombing when Americans of all political stripes put aside their differences to work together to defeat the terrorists who had just slapped us silly to the tune of 3,000+ dead.

Boy, that sure lasted long, didn’t it?

And since then, 9/11 has devolved into a political football, with conservatives regularly bashing liberals over the head with the corpses in an effort to paint them as insufficiently patriotic and a Fifth Column in the War on Terror™©®. And that’s when they weren’t using it to declare all Muslims untermenchen worthy only of being shoved into Adam Yoshida’s macrowave ovens.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, is the most profane desecration of the memory of 9/11 in my mind.

I can’t really add too much to what JJ said about the senseless double-homicide in Owosso, Michigan, but I will say this: the fact that the Coerced Delivery Brigade is trying to equate this with the EIGHT victims of anti-abortion terrorism says a lot about the value they place on the life of OB/GYNs who perform abortion versus the value of the lives of their membership. One Fetus Fetishist is worth at least eight Dr. Tillers, in the eyes of these people.

To make matters worse, some Fetus Fetishists are deliberately ignoring the condemnations of the violence from pro-choice bloggers in order to shriek “Where are the feminazis?” They neither know nor care that some of us would prefer to wait for ALL of the facts to come in before offering anything beyond the standard “We condemn all abortion-related violence, no matter which side it comes from,” as if our “silence” were somehow more contemptible than the flood of verbal coprophilia that was tweeted by the Coerced Delivery Brigade in the aftermath of Dr. Tiller’s murder.

I BELIEVE THIS PROVES MY POINT: If this New York Times article is true, then indeed Mr. Pouillon’s views were at issue in his murder. In which case, his murder was indeed the despicable act of a coward, just as much as the murder of Dr. Tiller was the despicable act of a coward. See how easy that was, Fetus Fetishists? No need to resort to this “He was a mass murderer who got what he deserved!” bullshit. (I’m looking at you, Randall Terry!)

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER: AP says that abortion had nothing to do with the murder of Mr. Pouillon. This is why saying anything beyond “All abortion-related political violence is to be condemned, and anyone who engages in it needs to be put away for a really long time,” before all the facts come out is just partisan masturbation.

I didn’t even know Pat Robertson had a heart:

Pat Robertson, 79, on mend after heart surgery

RICHMOND, Va. — Pat Robertson’s lead surgeon says he expects the 79-year-old religious broadcaster to make a full recovery from surgery to correct an irregular heart beat.

Robertson is back at home in Virginia Beach after his release last week from a hospital in North Carolina. He ultimately will be fitted with a heart monitor.

Dr. Andy C. Kiser (KEYE’-zer) said Robertson underwent the 10-hour surgical procedure at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst, N.C., to repair an atrial fibrillation.

In a separate but related procedure, doctors also removed an abnormally enlarged left appendage on Robertson’s heart. They believe the growth contributed to Robertson’s atrial fibrillation.

Must be nice to have access to the best health care Charles Taylor’s ill-gotten gold can buy.

JJ, in her own comments section, on Professional Outrage Maven Bill Donohue’s predictable reaction to a recent episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit.

First, the setup:

Does Bill Dohohue have a side other than paranoid?

And now, the punchline:

Alison S — “Paranoid” is his good side. “Psychotic incontinent screaming red rage” is the other side. It’s a toss-up as to which side is dominant.

As I mentioned on Twitter earlier, the Coerced Delivery Brigade is demanding veto power over Sen. Kennedy’s funeral arrangements:

WASHINGTON, D.C., August 28, 2009 (LieSiteNews.com) — The director of the pro-life group Citizens for a Pro-Life Society (CPLS) is calling on pro-lifers across America to respectfully [“Respectfully,” my ass! — Ed.] urge Cardinal Sean O’Malley of the Boston Archdiocese not to allow the passing of notorious pro-abortion advocate Sen. Ted Kennedy to be honored with a public Catholic funeral.

Following the death of Sen. Ted Kennedy of brain cancer Tuesday night, a funeral mass has been scheduled for Saturday morning at Boston’s Basilica of Our Lady of Perpetual Help, where President Obama is expected to deliver the eulogy.

Sadly, this is the logical extension of Pope Benedict Arnold I’s habit of meddling in other countries’ domestic affairs. It’s tawdry, it’s disgusting, and it’s really inhumane.

And that, more than a mortal politician’s failings (real and imaginary), makes Baby Jeebus weep.

In light of the previous post, if you’re an Israeli Arab, I would highly suggest that you not leave the country anytime soon (assuming that you’re actually allowed to leave the ghettos you’ve been relegated to). Bibi’s just the kind of nutty racist who would borrow ideas from the Stephen Harper administration on the (mis)treatment of ethnic minorities whose only crime is following the wrong religion.

So, a memo with embarrassing revelations about the Israeli government’s reaction to the election of B. Hussein Osama X The Usurper™ authored by Nadav Tamir, the Israeli consul-general in Boston, was leaked to the press last week:

During a visit to Israel, I became more aware that we have a damaging misunderstanding regarding the intentions and policies of the American administration. I must note that even if I am wrong in my assessment of the American administration, the way in which we manage our relations nowadays is causing strategic damage to two very important aspects that make up our special relationship and they are the level of intimacy in coordinating policies, and the support of US public opinion towards Israel.

In many American circles, there is a feeling these days, that while the Obama administration tries to resolve global conflicts, it must deal with the refusal to cooperate by governments in Iran, North Korea, and Israel. Aaron Miller’s words, spoken after the Obama-Netanyahu meeting, clearly show this feeling. He said it was a meeting between Obama yes we can and Netanyahu no you won’t.

There are, of course, players in American and Israeli politics who oppose Obama ideologically and are willing to sacrifice the special relationship between the countries to further their own political agenda, but we cannot let these players damage the bipartisan attitude that rightly characterized the conduct of Israeli governments toward the US.

Naturally, since no good deed goes unpunished, Tamir suddenly found himself recalled to Israel for the thoughtcrime of not being sufficiently supportive of Israel’s Final Solution to the Palestinian Problem. Or as Israeli Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman put it:

If someone is not happy and can’t live with government policy, the way is not to criticize and leak but to resign. With all due respect to the consul… it is not his job to express political positions.

Yes, quite. How dare he speak truth to power about how Bibi’s paranoid delusions are threatening Israel’s security?

(h/t, ThinkProgress)

It’s the only thing I can think of that would explain why he would open his latest column thusly:

Scolding Americans for our various sins is proving popular among an elite group of self-appointed moralists.

Yes, Mr. Hanson. You’re right. Scolding Americans for our various sins is very popular among an elite group of self-appointed moralists.