JABbering Stooge

Shorter Debbie Schlussel:

Shocker: Man Who Shot Up Ft. Hood Soldiers Was Muslim (and a “Loyal” Muslim U.S. Soldier); Islamic Terrorism & Jihad, Period; An Islamic Doctor Who Murdered

• The massacre at Fort Hood just goes to prove that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim — preferably in one of Adam Yoshida’s macrowave ovens!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

US House: UN report on Gaza “war crimes” is biased

• Silly Richard Goldstone! Don’t you know that the only truly Fair & Balanced™©® report is one that says that the only good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian?

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

…this would be the only type of “art” that could legally be produced. (Yes, I said “legally.”)

The “artist,” Jon McNaughton, is trying to propagate the notion that America is a “Christian Nation™®©,” and that only by ripping the Constitution to shreds and becoming a theocracy can we “get right with Zombie Jesus, as the Founding Fathers intended.” This is basically the radical Christianist right’s version of Piss Christ, only unlike those on the right, I don’t want it censored, I just want to mock it! (That IS still legal, right?)

Shall we?

For that matter, when will we hear David Horowitz or the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) denounce this assault on campus freedom of expression?

At approximately 4 p.m. Sunday afternoon, a few members of the newly recreated non-religious group, Alabama Atheist and Agnostics, did chalking in the Ferguson Plaza, outside of Lakeside Diner and outside of Reese Phifer Hall, according to Peter Sloan, vice president of Alabama Atheist and Agnostics and a senior double majoring in music composition and philosophy.

“While we were chalking somebody dumped water on what we were chalking, somebody spat at us,” Sloan said. “But really, overall, most people were polite.”

At approximately 6 p.m., AAA finished their chalking, Sloan said. By midnight, all the chalking had been erased and scrubbed clean by what appeared to be an organization’s effort.

[…]

The chalking was redone from midnight until 1 a.m., Sloan said. The chalking was again found to be erased by noon on Monday.

Yeah, yeah. I know. I’d better check the temperature in hell, first.

BTW, the administration was extremely unhelpful to the atheist organization — essentially telling them to go Cheney themselves. I seriously doubt they would have treated a Christian organization that way.

And in other news, colleges have become commie indoctrination centers filled with radical America-hating feminazi professors who need to be blacklisted. The Young Conservatives of Texas said so.

Shame on you, Ed! You know better than to confuse Sens. Joe Lieberman, Evan Bayh and John Kyl with the facts about what would happen to Iran should they try to nuke Israel!

…but President Obama is really a robot spy from the planet Xenu*!

* With apologies to Thom Hartmann.

I know why wingnuts, who constantly slag liberals as “The Blame America First Crowd,” don’t want to remember 9/13. That’s because eight years ago today, two of their own Blamed America First™:

So much for that post-partisan goodwill that sprouted up after 9/11, eh?

I haven’t forgotten The Spirit of 9/11™ — the time in the immediate aftermath of the worst terrorist attack on American soil since the Murrah Federal Building bombing when Americans of all political stripes put aside their differences to work together to defeat the terrorists who had just slapped us silly to the tune of 3,000+ dead.

Boy, that sure lasted long, didn’t it?

And since then, 9/11 has devolved into a political football, with conservatives regularly bashing liberals over the head with the corpses in an effort to paint them as insufficiently patriotic and a Fifth Column in the War on Terror™©®. And that’s when they weren’t using it to declare all Muslims untermenchen worthy only of being shoved into Adam Yoshida’s macrowave ovens.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, is the most profane desecration of the memory of 9/11 in my mind.

I didn’t even know Pat Robertson had a heart:

Pat Robertson, 79, on mend after heart surgery

RICHMOND, Va. — Pat Robertson’s lead surgeon says he expects the 79-year-old religious broadcaster to make a full recovery from surgery to correct an irregular heart beat.

Robertson is back at home in Virginia Beach after his release last week from a hospital in North Carolina. He ultimately will be fitted with a heart monitor.

Dr. Andy C. Kiser (KEYE’-zer) said Robertson underwent the 10-hour surgical procedure at FirstHealth Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst, N.C., to repair an atrial fibrillation.

In a separate but related procedure, doctors also removed an abnormally enlarged left appendage on Robertson’s heart. They believe the growth contributed to Robertson’s atrial fibrillation.

Must be nice to have access to the best health care Charles Taylor’s ill-gotten gold can buy.

JJ, in her own comments section, on Professional Outrage Maven Bill Donohue’s predictable reaction to a recent episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit.

First, the setup:

Does Bill Dohohue have a side other than paranoid?

And now, the punchline:

Alison S — “Paranoid” is his good side. “Psychotic incontinent screaming red rage” is the other side. It’s a toss-up as to which side is dominant.