JABbering Stooge

A preview of the Quitbull’s new (ghostwritten) book:

Shorter Chris Matthews:

• Is the plunging number of people willing to self-identify as Republican good news for the Republicans like I hope it is? Here to confirm my bias (HA!) is a moderate Republican and a far-right wackadoodle Republican!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Say, do you think they can be persuaded to make a version for Exalted, Scion, Serenity or GURPS?

Oh, and did I mention that this comes from the Entertainment Technology Center at Carnegie Mellon (my alma mater)?

How is it that a comedian who hosts a fake news show is more of a journalist than the “real” journalists?

That was the sound of millions of wingnut heads exploding at the news that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is good news for the Republicans, sayeth the Village Idiots™.

* Cf.

Say, Baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up!

Watch out, Rep. Bachmann! Bill-O just might decide to call you up at four A. M. to tell you about his fantasy of sexually molesting you with a Middle Eastern food product!

Sweet Mother of Mercy:

Also.

Go ahead, NewsBusters. Tell me how The Left™©® is the sole source of political violence in America. I dare you.

* Cf.

If you missed last night’s hour-long Special Comment (You sad, sad person!), here it is in all its glory:

Amen. If the Rethuglicans manage to kill comprehensive health care reform, well…

“Weep for the future, Na’Toth. Weep for us all.”
— G’Kar, Babylon 5, “Revelations”

Sidebar: My only quibble with the Special Comment (and it’s a very, VERY minor, nit-picky quibble) is that he got the capital of Montana wrong: It’s Helena, not Butte.

Shorter Entire “Librul” Media:

• Michael Moore is fat, and he hates America and the Baby Jesus. Therefore, his new documentary is the Worst. Movie. EVAR!

The next person who claims that the media has a liberal bias gets slapped.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Yes, Tom Blumer, let’s talk about civility:

Also:

There is a remote, although gaining, possibility America’s military will intervene as a last resort to resolve the “Obama problem.” Don’t dismiss it as unrealistic.

America isn’t the Third World. If a military coup does occur here it will be civilized. That it has never happened doesn’t mean it wont. Describing what may be afoot is not to advocate it. So, view the following through military eyes:

[…]

Will the day come when patriotic general and flag officers sit down with the president, or with those who control him, and work out the national equivalent of a “family intervention,” with some form of limited, shared responsibility?

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible.

Shorter John L. Perry:

• Look, I’m not advocating a new White House Putsch, even if thinking about it does give me a stiffy. I’m just saying that a Final Solution to the Obama Problem may be necessary.

Sidebar: Seriously, how crazy do you have to be to be too crazy for David Horowitz’s House of Macrowaved* Muslims?

And in other news, T3h Left is a bajillion times more prone to violence than wingnuts because Mike Malloy had the temerity to call out the Reich-wingers on their hardon for Race War v. 12.5 Civil War v. 2.0. Tim Graham said so.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

* Cf.