JABbering Stooge

Projecting through the Screen

• Dude, I think I just filled the cup.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Sadly, I won’t be watching Saturday Night Live tonight. The local NBC affiliate and Slime-Porner Cable* are too busy smearing each other at the moment to care one iota about what their customers want. If anyone wants to provide highlights, please do so in the comments. Kthanxbai.

* There was a period of about a week or so last year when Stephanie Miller referred to Time Warner by that appellation as a way to complain about bad customer service.

Are you guys up for another drinking game? Well, too bad!

JABbering Stooge Official 2008 Vice-Presidential Debate Drinking Game

The following are worth one drink:

• Gov. Mooseburger Palin refers to herself as “Joe Sixpack”.

• Gov. Palin gives a beauty pageant-quality answer.

• The words “like,” “everywhere,” “such as,” “the Iraq” or “U.S. Americans” appear anywhere in one of Gov. Palin’s answers.

• Gov. Palin has a deer-in-the-headlights look during any of the questions.

The following are worth two drinks:

• Gov. Palin mentions what books she’d like to burn ban.

• Gov. Palin talks about Putin’s head invading American airspace.

• Gov. Palin claims to have said “Thanks, but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere™.

• Gov. Palin mentions Bristol’s pregnancy as an example of how life-loving conservatives are.

The following are worth three drinks:

• Gov. Palin derides “community organizers.”

• Gov. Palin complains about the moderator/that she doesn’t get only softball questions.

• Gov. Palin calls Joe Biden a “latent Marxist”.

Chug if this happens:

• The “librul” media, in spite of all of the above, declares Gov. Palin the winner.

WARNING: Only play the JABbering Stooge Official 2008 Vice-Presidential Debate Drinking Game if you have a strong liver or are drinking non-alcoholic beverages. This blogger is not liable for any alcohol-related medical emergencies resulting from playing this drinking game for real.

Sarah Palin quote of the day:

Oh, I think they’re [critics] just not used to someone coming in from the outside saying you know what? It’s time that a normal Joe Six-Pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency, and I think that that’s kind of taken some people off guard, and they’re out of sorts, and they’re ticked off about it.

Sarah Palin IS Ranma Saotome!

Heckuva job, Bushie.

Doesn’t this remind you of the Presidunce being hand-held by Cheney at the 9/11 Commission hearings?

* Cf.

Media Matters has the details.

Via Mithras.

What does it say about the state of Our Stupid Media™ today that C-SPAN has the best coverage of the DNC out of all the cable networks?

Are you going to cover the fact that former Rep. Jim Leach — a REPUBLICAN — spoke harshly about his own party at the DNC? You know, the way you covered Zell Miller’s speech in 2004 and the way you’re covering Joe Lieberman’s speech this year? No? You’d rather peddle the (false) notion that Hillary’s going to make a last-minute play for the nomination, and that that’s good news for McCain?

Well, okay then. You can do that. But you’ll have to trade in your journalism credentials for some Official John McCain Straight Talk Express™ Presstitute Kneepads.

Randy Scheunemann, John McCain’s senior foreign policy advisor and bought-and-paid-for Georgia lobbyist, helping the terrorists.