JABbering Stooge

I am not interested in your offers of Enzyte, Cialis, OxyContin, “guaranteed” schemes to make money fast by picking my pocket, virus-laden pr0n sites, or self-help webinars. Please go away.

FAR away.

In fact, just DIAF, already.

Love,

J. A. Baker in Austin, TX

Shorter Ann Outhouse Althouse:

“This despicable attack on Assemblywoman Scozzafava offends me personally and exemplifies exactly what’s wrong with Hoffman and his right wing backers.”

• War is peace! Ignorance is strength! Rush Limbaugh’s nakedly sexist attack on Dede Scozzafava is “good feminism!”

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

With “the conservative intelligentsia,” the correct order is “shoot first, shoot later, then shoot some more just for the hell of it.” “Try to figure out if it was too good to be true” never really enters into the equation. (That’s French and gay, don’cha know?)

“Law & Order’s” anti-choice propaganda

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Shorter Goldman Sachs Vice Chairman Lord Griffiths:

Public must learn to “tolerate the inequality” of bonuses, says Goldman Sachs vice-chairman

• If getting financially raped by your Wall Street overlords is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

* Cf.

Takes one to know one, SIR:

In an interview with CBS News radio yesterday, former President George H.W. Bush called assailed the tone of our national discourse. “I don’t like it. The cables (TV) have a lot to do with it,” he said, adding that MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann were partly responsible:

• The Republican elder statesman said, “It’s not just the right.” He complained, “there are plenty of people on the left.”

  While he said he does not believe in personal name-calling, he singled out MSNBC personalities Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow calling them “sick puppies.”

  “The way they treat my son and anyone who’s opposed to their point of view is just horrible,” Mr. Bush said.

That’s right. President George Horton’s Willie Bush called Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow “sick puppies” for alleged namecalling.

My irony meter just a-sploded.

Sidebar: If Poppy Bush is truly concerned about the state of political discourse in this country, perhaps he should start by having a long chat with his good friend Pillz-E about his comments for oh…the last year or so.

Yep, electing President Obama sure put the kibosh on the seething, roiling cauldron of American racism, didn’t it? 

Un-frackin’-believable:

On Nov. 1, a law in Oklahoma will go into effect that will collect personal details about every single abortion performed in the state and post them on a public website. Implementing the measure will “cost $281,285 the first year and $256,285 each subsequent year.” Here are the first eight questions that women will have to reveal:

1. Date of abortion [So we can update our sexcrime statistics, eh? — Ed.]

2. County in which abortion performed [All the better to vector in those OK National Guard Black Hawk Helicopters for an attack, amirite? — Ed.]

3. Age of mother [The sooner we can shame little Suzie into “consenting” to FGM keeping her slutty legs closed, the better! — Ed.]

4. Marital status of mother (married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married) [This is so We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma can turn you over to your Commander husband/father for a proper honor killing. — Ed.]

5. Race of mother [We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma are concerned that too many white, Christian women are committing Gender Treason™. If the brown people and Muslims want to abort all their offspring, more power to them! — Ed.]

6. Years of education of mother (specify highest year completed) [The fewer the better, in the eyes of the Oklahoma lege. — Ed.]

7. State or foreign country of residence of mother [See my comment on question 5. — Ed.]

8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
   Live Births
   Miscarriages
   Induced Abortions
   [Because We The Government of the Theocratic Republic of Oklahoma simply MUST know the extent of little Suzie’s string of sexcrimes! We can’t possibly cum mete out proper punishment for her wanton harlotry without it! — Ed.]

*SIGH* The Earth-Shattering Kaboom can’t come fast enough, it seems.

Say, Baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up!

Watch out, Rep. Bachmann! Bill-O just might decide to call you up at four A. M. to tell you about his fantasy of sexually molesting you with a Middle Eastern food product!

Via JJ, I ran my blog through something called “The Typealyzer,” and, well…this was the result:

ISTJ — The Duty Fulfillers

The responsible and hardworking type. They are especially attuned to the details of life and are careful about getting the facts right. Conservative by nature they are often reluctant to take any risks whatsoever.

The Duty Fulfillers are happy to be let alone and to be able to work in their own pace. They know what they have to do and how to do it.

I blame this post…