JABbering Stooge

Over at The Grist, David Roberts explains why now-former Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation Van Jones is not the scary bogeyman that Glenn Beck makes him out to be. The rest of the piece is a good, serious read, but I could help but laugh at this line:

A while back I lampooned a Glenn Beck segment on Van Jones, who’s an advisor to the White House Council on Environmental Quality. According to Beck, Jones is the man on the inside for a vast cryptosocialist conspiracy involving the Apollo Alliance, Color of Change, the Center for American Progress, George Soros, ACORN, Al Queda, and the Trilateral Commission. Everything that goes bump in Beck’s closet at night.

Back then I still thought the Gomer Pyle meets Father Coughlin shtick was harmless, too clownish to be taken seriously. Ah, those innocent days before the nation was locked in a room with frantic teabaggers.

Thanks, Dave. After Glenn Beck’s high-tech lynching of Van Jones, I needed some levity.

Sidebar: I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that Glenn Beck’s petulant revenge fantasy has eerie parallels with Bill O’Reilly’s jihad against Dr. George Tiller. While the scalp claimed by Beck was fortunately metaphorical rather than literal, we’ve already seen how quickly right-wing lunacy can spiral into violence. And it’s just going to get worse the more Obama caves to the lunatic fringe.

Keith gleefully mocks Glenn Beck’s General Ripper-esque paranoia about the artwork in Rockefeller Center in NYC:

Well played, sir. I bow before your comedic might.

JJ, in her own comments section, on Professional Outrage Maven Bill Donohue’s predictable reaction to a recent episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit.

First, the setup:

Does Bill Dohohue have a side other than paranoid?

And now, the punchline:

Alison S — “Paranoid” is his good side. “Psychotic incontinent screaming red rage” is the other side. It’s a toss-up as to which side is dominant.

Comedian Rob Paravonian ranting about Pachelbel’s Canon and Gigue in D Major at Penn State (circa 2006):

In case you were wondering, the songs referenced are as follows:

• Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C

• Cryin’ by Aerosmith

• the folk song One Tin Soldier

• Hook by Blues Traveler

• Basket Case by Green Day

• Push by Matchbox 20

• Good by Better than Ezra

• Machinehead by Bush (No, not that Bush!)

• With or Without You by U2

• Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

• Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne

• We’re Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister (used as top-of-the-hour bumper music on The Stephanie Miller Show before Obama was elected President)

• Making Our Dreams Come True (Opening Theme for Laverne & Shirley)

• No Woman, No Cry by Bob Marley

• Let It Be by The Beatles

Or you could check Ye Olde Wikipedia.

John Cole is Shrill™©®:

Excellent:

Man, I bet if I were a libertarian who spent the last couple of months defending teabaggers and pimping every Republican lie about fiscal responsibility, I’d feel pretty damned stupid right now. I wish there was some way I could put this on infinite loop in Reason HQ so they would have something to watch in between Fox News appearances and watching PJTV.

But don’t you dare call them Republicans.

What? The GOP using their ideological alliance of convenience with the glibertarians and teabaggers to shuck them like the gullible oysters that they are? That’s unpossible!

Also.

And it’s forcing Glenn Beck to misspell “oligarchy,” apparently.

Yes, there is a letter missing, Glenn. Hint: It’s not the “y.”

Huh? You sure about that, WingNutDaily? Hannity/Palin 2012?

WASHINGTON — Talk-show host Sean Hannity, a vocal opponent of Barack Obama’s policies, said today he would not rule out a bid for the presidency in 2012.

Egged on by radio colleague Bill Cunningham [That would be this Bill Cunningham, BTW. — Ed.], Hannity said he would consider entering the front lines of the political fray if God directs him.

[…]

While Obama’s approval ratings have been plummeting in his first year in office, no clear Republican frontrunner has emerged. The candidates most often considered viable include Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin and Hannity’s Fox News colleague Mike Huckabee.

Cunningham, one of Hannity’s guests during a visit to Cincinnati today, said the nation and the Republican Party need Hannity.

When WND asked Hannity to repeat what he said on the air about a run, he said, “I ducked.”

Later in the program, a member of the audience asked what the host thought of a Hannity-Palin ticket.

The studio audience erupted in applause.

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Hannity would be an oppo researcher’s wet dream! This is the man who was responsible for rehabilitating domestic terrorist Randall Terry during the Terri Schiavo debacle. Hannity is good friends with noted racist and Teabagger violence inciter Hal Turner.

And let’s not forget that Hannity is a talk radio host with his own prime time show on Fox Propaganda. There’s tons and tons of opposition research gold to be mined in those radio and television archives. Wouldn’t you just looooove to hear the clip of Hannity calling Congressman Jim Moran (D — VA) an “asshole” repeated on an endless loop night-after-night all across the TV airwaves? (Fat chance with our media, I know, but a guy can dream, can’t he?)

So, really, Hannity/Palin in 2012?

Bring it, bitchez!

(h/t, JJ)

Tim F. at Balloon Juice:

Barack Obama stripped millions of Americans of their right to not have a black President.

*snerk* How true.

We are all Kenyans now!

You can get your Genuine Fake Kenyan Birth Certificate™ here.

* And I don’t mean in the “Scooter” Libby sense.