JABbering Stooge

I’ve seen fuzzy math before, but this takes the cake!

Over at the GOS, Bill in Portland, ME posts some must read hilarity:

Channel surfing: Yesterday

• “Welcome to the Today Show. This morning: Sarah Palin’s new book…”

  [click]

  “Oh Joe!” “Oh Mika!” “Oh Joe!” “Oh Mika!” “Let’s talk about Sarah Palin’s new book, Joe, and how much Obama sucks!” “Great idea, Mika…”

  [Click]

  “Our round-the-clock coverage of Sarah Palin’s new book continues on Fox News with amazing new details on how Steve Schmidt paid housekeeping staffs to short-sheet her hotel-room beds…”

  [Click!]

  “Headline News has just learned that there are, in fact, five chapters in Sarah Palin’s new book. Five, count ‘em, five. One two three four five. Or try it backwards, five four three t…”

  [Click!!]

  “CNN breaking news at this hour: we have just learned that Sarah Palin’s new book still has no index! Let’s go live to…”

  [CLICK!]

  “And in local news, some Portland residents say they may buy Sarah Palin’s new book, but others say they might not. Our eyewitness team coverage begins with…”

  [CLICK!!!]

  “Welcome back to Hardball. A tingle is running up my leg with the release of…”

  [CLICK!!!!]

  “Coming up on The History Channel: Could World War II have been averted if Neville Chamberlain had read Sarah Palin’s new book? A panel of experts says…”

  [CLICK!!!!!!]

  “I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat: Sarah…Palin’s…New…”

  [CLICK!!!!!!!!!]

For Sale: 1 slightly used TV. Comes with size 8 1/2 shoe embedded. Serious offers only, please.

So, I had this totally awesome snarky post about the “librul” media’s reaction to the special election last night all ready to go, and I come home to find that Ed had already done it better than I ever could.

Damn you, Ed.

“Law & Order’s” anti-choice propaganda

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Shorter Chris Matthews:

• Is the plunging number of people willing to self-identify as Republican good news for the Republicans like I hope it is? Here to confirm my bias (HA!) is a moderate Republican and a far-right wackadoodle Republican!

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Shorter Howard Kurtz:

Fairfax County, Va.: Hi Howard, This Sunday, I read the editorials in The Post and The New York Times about the surprise Peace Prize. I liked the NYT editorial (which was pro), but like most of us, including Obama, I could certainly have handled an editorial that was anti this choice.

When I read the Washington Post editorial, I felt so sad for what this paper has become. Their whole idea was that the prize should have gone to Neda, the woman who was murdered by the Iranian police. Nobel Peace Prizes can’t be given posthumously. It’s a basic, easy factcheck. There are other fact problems, too (the protests hadn’t happened by the nomination date, Neda may not have been a protester).

So the idea that the committee made a careless or inappropriate choice is refuted by a slapdash editorial “choice” that nobody bothered to check? It just screamed out to me “we laid off almost all the copy editors.” I feel so sad for The Post I grew up with. It’s great to have an opinion. It’s bad to look dumb.

Howard Kurtz: I take your point about no posthumous awards, though by that standard Martin Luther King couldn’t have won after being assassinated (yes, I know he won the prize earlier). My reading of the piece was that Neda was being used more as a symbol (though the rule should have been mentioned). But it’s an editorial. It is by definition opinion. Of course some readers are going to disagree.

• Our opinion pieces are entitled to be unencumbered by those silly things you arrogantly call “facts!”

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

How is it that a comedian who hosts a fake news show is more of a journalist than the “real” journalists?

That was the sound of millions of wingnut heads exploding at the news that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

This is good news for the Republicans, sayeth the Village Idiots™.

* Cf.

Shorter Entire “Librul” Media:

• Michael Moore is fat, and he hates America and the Baby Jesus. Therefore, his new documentary is the Worst. Movie. EVAR!

The next person who claims that the media has a liberal bias gets slapped.

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

I do not think it means what you think it means, Andrew Alexander.

Then again, given his column and blog post on the subject, it seems that this

or this

accurately represent the WaHoPo’s new ombudsman’s view of “ideological diversity.”