JABbering Stooge

Just when you thought that Muslim and Christian fundies had bogarted all the misogyny and terrorism in the world, along come the Israeli Orthodox Jewish fundies*:

Modesty patrol’s violence widens Israeli religious rift

JERUSALEM — In Israel’s ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, where the rule of law sometimes takes a back seat to the rule of God, zealots are on a campaign to stamp out behavior they consider unchaste. They hurl stones at women for such “sins” as wearing a red blouse, and attack stores selling devices that can access the Internet.

In recent weeks, self-styled “modesty patrols” have been accused of breaking into the apartment of a Jerusalem woman and beating her for allegedly consorting with men. They have torched a store that sells MP4 players, fearing devout Jews would use them to download pornography.

“These breaches of purity and modesty endanger our community,” said 38-year-old Elchanan Blau, defending the bearded, black-robed zealots. [Yeah, and it saps your precious bodily fluids, too! — Ed.] “If it takes fire to get them to stop, then so be it.”

I’ve long suspected that, as the joke goes, the only reason Christian fundies hate Muslims is that they’re jealous that Muslims invented the burqa. Now it appears that these Haredi mamzerim want to join in on the fun hate.

All the more reason to go see Religulous.

* Sadly, the only recent source for this story is from the Associated Wankers. If you have a link for this story that’s not a month old and not from the Associated Wankers, feel free to contribute it in the comments.

So much for “librul” academia…

Florida teacher uses ‘N’ word against Obama

“Shorter” concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard and given a beneficial mutation by the fine folks at Sadly, No!
I am aware of all Internet tradtions.™

Liz Sidoti delivers yet again for McCain.

* With apologies to Matt Groening.

And the award goes to…Gov. Mooseburger! (via TBogg)

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on Saturday accused Democrat Barack Obama of “palling around with terrorists” because of his association with a former 1960s radical, stepping up the campaign’s effort to portray Obama as unacceptable to American voters.

*snip*

Palin told a group of donors at a private airport, “Our opponent … is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.” She also said, “This is not a man who sees America as you see America and as I see America.”

Feh! That’s rich, coming from the woman whose husband was a member of the Alaska secessionist movement and who gave the same secessionist movement a warm welcome via video-conference earlier this year!

That would be the same secessionist movement founded by one Joe Vogler, who had this to say in a 1991 interview (via TPM Election Central):

The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government.

As the late, great George Carlin once said, I’d like to repeat that because it sounds vaguely important:

The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government.

I don’t know about you, but that sure as heck doesn’t seem to me like someone who “sees America as you see America and as I see America.”

But really, Governor. By your “logic,” Sen. McRove should be disqualified from consideration for POTUS because of his penchant for hobnobbing with wannabe domestic terrorist G. Gordon “Head Shots*” Liddy.

Lots of people smarter than me predicted this ugly turn from the McRove campaign, but I don’t think anyone thought it would come this quickly. Just one more sign of the desperation in the GOP camp.

* Cf.

Sadly, I won’t be watching Saturday Night Live tonight. The local NBC affiliate and Slime-Porner Cable* are too busy smearing each other at the moment to care one iota about what their customers want. If anyone wants to provide highlights, please do so in the comments. Kthanxbai.

* There was a period of about a week or so last year when Stephanie Miller referred to Time Warner by that appellation as a way to complain about bad customer service.

via TBogg:

Heh. Indeed. But that’s not all, folks! They’re selling T-shirts!

Front

back

Sidebar: In case you’re wondering, the song is a parody of “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White Ts.

If Rachel Maddow is right (and I have no reason to doubt her), the McRove campaign is in what can only charitably be described as desperation mode. Which would probably explain why McCain is pulling out of Michigan.

Nevertheless, desperate people do desperate things. Remember, back in July, McCain named Karl Rove protégé Steve Schmidt as his campaign chair, and Rove himself is the Padawan of Lee Atwater — he of the infamous “Michael Dukakis set free a scaryblackman for the sole purpose of raping your lily-white virgin daughters” Willie Horton ad.

And so, I think we can expect the McCain campaign to go something like this from now through Nov. 4th:

Since next Tuesday’s debate is a town hall format, wouldn’t it be great if one of the questioners could ask McCain why he won’t release his medical records? And would the “librul” media allow such an inquiry?

And more importantly, for the wingnuts, why was it okay to hound John Kerry constantly about his medical records from his Vietnam service, but asking the same questions about McCain’s health is suddenly verboten?

Doop-dee-doop*, checkin’ t3h Internetz:

On October 2nd, 2008 at 7:02 pm, ajmontana said:
I’d rather have a bidet/odopey pinata.

On October 2nd, 2008 at 8:19 pm, ArizonaNeanderthal said:
“Oh my-I am terribly sorry! Lost my glasses and thought he was a moose! Oh my!

Wow. I am in awe. One commenter wants to use Obama and Biden as piñatas, and another “jokes” about Gov. Mooseburger “accidentally” shooting Biden. Such lovely people you associate with there, Michelle!

* With apologies to the fine folks at Sadly, No!

Are you guys up for another drinking game? Well, too bad!

JABbering Stooge Official 2008 Vice-Presidential Debate Drinking Game

The following are worth one drink:

• Gov. Mooseburger Palin refers to herself as “Joe Sixpack”.

• Gov. Palin gives a beauty pageant-quality answer.

• The words “like,” “everywhere,” “such as,” “the Iraq” or “U.S. Americans” appear anywhere in one of Gov. Palin’s answers.

• Gov. Palin has a deer-in-the-headlights look during any of the questions.

The following are worth two drinks:

• Gov. Palin mentions what books she’d like to burn ban.

• Gov. Palin talks about Putin’s head invading American airspace.

• Gov. Palin claims to have said “Thanks, but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere™.

• Gov. Palin mentions Bristol’s pregnancy as an example of how life-loving conservatives are.

The following are worth three drinks:

• Gov. Palin derides “community organizers.”

• Gov. Palin complains about the moderator/that she doesn’t get only softball questions.

• Gov. Palin calls Joe Biden a “latent Marxist”.

Chug if this happens:

• The “librul” media, in spite of all of the above, declares Gov. Palin the winner.

WARNING: Only play the JABbering Stooge Official 2008 Vice-Presidential Debate Drinking Game if you have a strong liver or are drinking non-alcoholic beverages. This blogger is not liable for any alcohol-related medical emergencies resulting from playing this drinking game for real.